


Changing Genders Only Goes So Far

by WincestSounds (Cammerel)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bruises, F/M, Fem!Sam, Genderswap, Handcuffs, M/M, NO!MPreg, Nipples, RP, Rough Sex, Roughness, Skull Fucking, Top!Sam, Wincest - Freeform, fem!dean, top!dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-20
Updated: 2016-01-16
Packaged: 2017-12-05 10:05:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 39,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/721825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cammerel/pseuds/WincestSounds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam touches a cursed object and gets turned into a woman. However, there are more side effects to the object than just his gender change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prefaced by saying that this will NOT have any preg or mpreg in the future.

Dean was standing at the old, dusted desk in the corner of the cage, sifting through a pile of loose sheets, tanned with age and curled along the bottom right corners of his father’s notes.

The older Winchester’s brows narrowed in concentration as he cleared his throat, “I got nothin’,” he reported, tossing the pile down and running his right hand through his short hair, “I don’t know what Cass expects, but I don’t think the do-hickey’s here. You get them boxes opened yet?”

Sam, still busy on his side of the room, had stumbled across this larger sized container, cracking it open with a screw driver and opening it to find it…  _empty,_ with the exception of a smaller figurine. It was a shapely little thing, almost appearing female with it’s suggestive curves.

He had picked it up carefully as he turned to shrug at his brother, even though Dean couldn’t see him. “No,” He started, “Just this little ceramic collectible lookin’ thing,” and he lifted it, showing Dean.

He started feeling a little off almost immediately, suddenly hotter, a slight, subtle dizzy spell hitting the front of him and, though it didn’t completely floor him, he felt slightly put off by the feeling.

Dean nodded, his back still turned, “Mm, don’t touch anythin’ you see, there’s no tellin’ what might happen  _this_ time,” His shoulders shivered as he reached up to pull a couple books down from the shelf in front of him, “I just remember that goddamn rabbit foot.”

“Hey man, I had it worse off than you did with that thing,” Sam snickered, turning back around to sit the figurine back down in it’s broken open case. He felt awful, light-headed, insides twisting as the feelings intensified. “It’s not here, we might as well get out of this place, no point looking around anymore today,” he suggested, just wanting to get back to the motel so he could lay down.

Dean nodded and turned, “Alright,” He licked his lips and paused, looking at his brother, “You uh…” He shook his head in confusion, “You do somethin’ to your hair or…  _Somethin_ ’?”

Sam brought his hands up to touch his head, “Nothin’ different than usual,” he replied, shrugging his shoulders. They exchanged an awkward look for a moment, then Sam headed towards the door, “Let’s get outta here already.”

Dean followed after his brother, shrugging, “Must be the lightin’ in here or somethin’,” He said, pulling his keys from his pocket as they climbed into the car together and he started her.

“Dude,” Sam said as his brother started backing up, “I don’t feel so good.” He barely felt his lips as the words came out, sweat beading on his brows as his stomach jerked and rolled. He looked at Dean, grimacing, and whatever hit him came on quick.

Dean turned, looking at his brother in concern. He placed his foot on the breaks as he frowned and his eyes shot open wide, “Did you touch somethin’ in there, Sammy?”

“Just that little, ceramic, collectible thing,” The younger Winchester replied, mostly thinking aloud. His eyes became as large as saucers and he quickly turned, rolled down the passenger side window in a rush, sticking his head out just in time to vomit down the right side of the impala.

Dean’s eyes widened, hands tight on the steering wheel, knuckles ghost white, “My baby,” He said, stunned and speechless otherwise.

Sam pulled himself back in, wiping his mouth on his jacket sleeve as he looked at Dean guiltily, “Sorry.”

* * *

The rest of the ride back was a little on the quiet side, Sam mainly afraid to open his mouth, worried he’d just get sick again, and Dean still speechless from the slop along the side of his car, clearly eager to get back to the motel so he could clean her up.

Sam had went straight for the bed the moment the door was open, plopping all of his weight down mercilessly and burying his face into the pillows. “G’night,” he mumbled to Dean through the fluff of cotton.

Dean spent the first thirty minutes of his brother being out in their motel room cleaning his car. He took to washing her in her entirety, might as well, all things considered; she could’ve used a bath anyways.

He finally came in, locking up the door, showering, dressing, and climbing into his own bed to sleep. It’d been a long, wasted day of endless searching and his bones and muscles ached with strain. Whatever was wrong with the younger Winchester would have to wait until morning.

Sam’s dreams that night were weird, to say the least, and he found himself tossing and turning more than usual. It was shortly after dawn when he woke, climbing out of bed groggily and walking into the bathroom to piss. He passed the mirror and stopped, taking a few steps back to look into it and he froze, letting out a sudden, sharp, blood curdling scream.

The older Winchester was startled into wake, hearing the shrill sound and grabbing his gun from under his pillow as he whipped it around, gaze going to Sam’s bed and noting his brother’s absence. The yell was a girl though and he stood, moving to the front door to check the parking lot, foot falls soft on the carpet of their motel room.

Sam was stunned, looking in the mirror, bewildered. “Dean,” she muttered in disbelief, trying to get his attention, still not able to look away as she watched her own eyes widen.

Dean stared at the door for a moment in confusion before he turned at the sound of the voice. He moved to the bathroom entrance and stopped dead in his tracks, gun trembling slightly in his grip.

Sam had managed to pull her shocked gaze from the mirror to look at Dean’s face, mimicking his exact expression, “I think we have a problem,” she said. I mean, _he **was**  a she right?_ If not, then the curves he/she was looking at were  **extremely**  deceiving.

The older Winchester’s eyes ran down her form slowly and he swallowed, “Sam…?” He started, all shocked and taken aback, “What did you  _do_?” He blinked, feeling himself stiffen considerably as he took in her strong, milky thighs.

“I don’t know,” She panicked, “You have to fix this!” Sam was shaking her brother’s arms at this point, terrified, but… Was Dean  _always_  that built? Her frightened green eyes traced from his face down to where her hands were on his biceps, all emotion clearing from her face as she considered his own shape (which, to her, seemed to have changed as well).

“We-we will, just…” Dean’s chest constricted at the touch, the tiny fingers wrapped around his arms and he looked at her; she was similar… _Very_  similar to Sam. But also  **quite**  different. His eyes dropped to her chest and he licked his lips nervously.

Sam managed to snap out of her thoughts, looking back at Dean questionably, “Well? Do something, and stop staring at me,” she growled, pulling the plaid button up over her exposed cleavage, stepping away from him.

“Uh, yeah,” Dean said, moving back and leaving her in the bathroom. _Goddamn_. He tried to walk normally, reaching under the bed, pulling out his duffel-bag and grabbing his father’s journal from inside, “Dad had it in his storage, he should know how to reverse it, right? It should be in here somewhere.”

“Oh god!” Sam gasped, “You don’t think Dad ever…” she paused, walking out of the bathroom, leaning her hips against the door and trying to keep herself covered.

“Ever  _what_?” The older Winchester asked, keeping his head down as he leafed through the journal.

“You think this ever happened to  _him_?” She asked, gesturing down to her body nervously.  _My god, what a thought, that was bound to cause some nightmares._

Dean pursed his lips, looking up and staring at his…  _Sister_? “I don’t know,” He said, eyes moving over the form again, and they darkened considerably, “Guess we’ll have to find out.”

“Well, in the meantime, I think I remember seeing a thrift store right down the street,” Sam straightened up, “I’m gonna walk down and see if I can find a few things that fit better than this,” she said, pulling on the large plaid shirt that fell about mid-thigh.

Dean nodded, “One of my shirts might fit a bit better,” He supplied, glancing back down to the journal in his lap as he continued flicking through it.

“Your Skynyrd shirt would probably fit okay,” The younger Winchester agreed, standing in front of Dean impatiently, with her arms crossed over her breasts.

The older Winchester’s eyes widened as he glanced at her and he turned to the duffel-bag still on the bed, pilfering through it and handing over the aforementioned black top. He almost said ‘ _don’t stretch it out_ ’ just out of habit, and he smirked at the reflex, “Do you want me to come too? I probably should.”

Sam started unbuttoning her own shirt instinctively, forgetting momentarily that she wasn’t a guy anymore, and she stopped when she felt Dean’s eyes on her. “I’m a big  _girl_  now,” She chuckled before she realized what she was doing and cleared her throat, “Now turn your head.”

Dean’s cheeks flushed so red that it reached his ears and he looked away, “Sorry.” He said, trying to ignore the uncomfortable tightening in his pants. He should  **not**  be feeling this way about his bro-… His  _sister_.

Everything about the way she looked was almost  _exotic_ , her tall, yet curvy body, the long, wavy brown hair, bright hazel eyes, and thin, luscious lips. She was so like Sam, it almost hurt, the muscles weren’t as defined, and the veins on her arms weren’t pronounced, but it was in everything else. She had broad shoulders, like him, still, and Dean had seen enough to know that her stomach had the soft, ghost shape of his brother’s six pack.

She dropped the bigger shirt to the floor finally and slid Dean’s over her bare chest, stuffing her breasts under the fabric of it as if they weren’t attached, “Can I borrow your belt? These pants won’t stay up,” She explained, signaling that she was decent.

Dean nodded, reaching into the bag and grabbing his belt. His was probably smaller than Sam’s anyways, and she was already borrowing his shirts, a belt wouldn’t hurt, and he didn’t use it much. “You uh… Should get a bra two, when you go out,” he narrowed his brows as he kept his eyes from her, stubbornly, even thought it was safe to look; well, ‘safe’ wasn’t really the correct term, “Are you sure you don’t want me comin’ along?”

“Jesus, Dean,” She sighed, covering her chest as she sat down to put the insanely large boots on. “I can take care of myself, I’ll bring my cell and call if I need your help-which I  _won’t_ ,” she smirked.

“Alright, alright, calm down,” Dean put his hands up in defeat, “I’m just sayin’. ‘Cause… You know… F’I can barely lookit you, it’s gonna be worse with people that aren’t your  _brother_.”

Sam sighed again, stood up and patted Dean on the head playfully, “I’ll be back shortly,” she stated as she picked up Dean’s leather jacket and slid it on.

“Hey,” Dean narrowed his brows, “Don’t you have a jacket of your  **own**?”

She looked down, confused, “Oh… But you’re stuff is smaller than mine,” She paused, looking at Dean with wide eyes, “You don’t want me to wear it?”

Dean blinked in shock and shook his head, “N-No… You can, just… Don’t mess it up,” He said, swallowing.  _Goddamn_.

“Good,” She replied, smiling wide. This ‘being a girl’ thing wasn’t as hard as he/she had initially thought it’d be. Apparently just the change of her gender was enough to get things out of her brother that she normally would’ve had a hard time with, otherwise. And now, she actually fit in the jacket; not that she had tried to put it on before, or anything.

She left the hotel and made it to the thrift store quickly enough, looking through the aisles, picking out a few things here and there as she went. She had checked out and began walking back, a few full bags in her arms as she took long strides, gaze set ahead.

Sam passed by a small, darkened alley, and side-glanced it enough to see the three guys chatting just by the entrance. She picked up the pace a little, frequently looking back behind her until she noticed that they’d begun following her, and were gaining.

 _Great_ , she thought, as she pulled out her cell and dialed Dean’s number.

* * *

The older Winchester had been chewing nervously on his lower lip and right thumb nail, tempted to get up and follow after his sister.  _What was taking Sam so **long**?_  He jumped when he heard his cell phone ring and stood up, moving so fast that he was locking the door behind him just as he flipped it open.

“Where are you?” He asked, rushing off down the street.

“About half a mile from the hotel, please hurry,” Her voice was slightly panicked. On a good day she could take all three of them, but these guys weren’t exactly small and, with her new found frame, well, she didn’t have a chance. She wasn’t even sure if she could’ve handled one of them.

“On my way,” Dean said, snapping the phone closed and bolting down the street as fast as his legs could take him.  _Goddammit_ , he knew he should’ve went with her. Talk about homophobia intensified by fifteen. Any guy looking at her  **was**  actually seeing her as… A  _her_. And Sam, even as a man, naturally looked weak and manipulate-able just based off his expressions and stances, he’d never came off nearly as violent as Dean did.

* * *

Sam was practically sprinting at this point, boots on her feet digging into the cement, but the bags in her arms were weighing her down. She dropped them, fear as plain as day on her face, but it was too late, and she felt an arm wrapping around her waist and pulling her backwards roughly.

“C’mere sugar, let’s talk,” the guy growled into her ear, guiding her back in the other direction as she fought tooth and nail.

“Dean!” she screamed as loudly as she could, trying to look back the way she was initially headed, to see if he was coming.  _Why the fuck didn’t she just let him tag along? All of this could’ve been avoided._

Dean saw her before he heard the terrified shout of his name and he pushed his legs, throwing a man out of his way as he charged down the street and grabbed the first, closest guy, “Hey!” He shouted, eyes wide, “You let her go, you sonova bitch!” He shouted, yanking the guy by his collar and slamming him down on the ground.

The other two looked back and saw him gaining on them. The first grabbed Sam tighter, yanking her ahead of him as Dean slammed his fist into the second one’s face.

Dean moved fast, twisting forward and grabbing Sam’s left leg as it kicked out, the younger Winchester still flailing violently.

The last guy stopped and glared as Dean yanked his sister free and pushed her behind him.

He saw the fear register in the man’s eyes as he moved him back, pushing the bullet exit end of his gun into the guy’s cheek as he panted, “You don’t ever fuckin’ touch her, you understand me?”

The man nodded, eyes wide and hands moving to grab Dean’s arm.

“You’re lucky I don’t blow your fuckin’ brains out, or take out your family jewels, you piece of shit.”

Relieved, yet still shaken up, Sam stood wide-eyed with tears streaming down her face as she watched Dean beat the shit out of the guys. It didn’t even register to her, that she was safe, even after he had sent them along their merry way. She still stood quietly, unable to focus on what had just happened.

Dean shoved the third man back and finally turned to Sam, chest heaving as he moved to her, taking her face in his hands, “You alright?” He asked, his heart hammering, stomach twisting sickly as he looked at the state she was in.

When she snapped to reality once more, she pulled away from Dean as quickly as she could, not fully realizing it was him, backing up roughly into a wall.

When it finally registered to her, that she was safe, that it was just Dean, her body gave out, sliding down the wall.

“Sam?” Dean’s eyes widened as he watched her collapse and he stepped away, trying not to intimidate her any further. He didn’t have a clue what she was going through, but he didn’t want to make it any worse. He’d never seen his brother afraid of him, and it definitely wasn’t something that he cared to see again, or ever.

Sam looked up as she wiped the tears from her eyes, reaching her arms out to have him help her up. “I’m s-sorry,” she mumbled under her breath.

Dean put his hands up and shook his head as he backed away even more, “I’m sure you can help yourself up,” He said nervously, “I’m not gonna do it.”

She looked at him a little confused, slightly hurt at his refusal.  _What?_  Now Dean  **didn’t**  want to help? She tried collecting herself as she stood, straightening her clothes; Dean’s clothes. “Fine… Let’s just get back,” she whispered as her body shook.

Dean nodded, watching her closely, eyes wide and slightly intimidated by her, “I’m sorry…” He said, looking down, “I-I didn’t mean’ta scare you… Like they did.”

“It’s fine,” she spoke softly, feigning a smile as they collected her bags back up.

They had walked back together, her body cradled under his arm as he glared at practically every person passing by them on the street.

* * *

After they reached the motel, she sat her bags on the bed and turned to Dean, “I think I’m uh… Gonna grab a quick shower, I feel dirty,” she admitted, eyes dull.

The older Winchester nodded, rubbing his sore knuckles and sitting on the bed, “Alright… I’ll-I’ll be here.” His eyes looked her over before turning away and picking back up his father’s journal to continue flicking through it.

Sam tossed him his jacket and muttered a quick ‘thanks’ before going into the bathroom.

She was in there for the better part of an hour, letting the hot water relax her sore muscles and, when she stepped out, she wrapped the towel around her body and left the bathroom to grab the bag of clothes. She was bruised, pretty badly at that, and they almost seemed to shine with the thin layer of water covering them.

Dean kept his eyes averted as Sam took up the clothes and walked back into the bathroom to dress.

She didn’t have any issues with the underwear and shorts but, to be fair, even as a man, Sam never had  _too_  much practice with bra’s.

She stepped back out shyly, with her hands covering the front part of her chest as she turned her bruised back towards Dean, “Can you help me?” she asked, peering back at him from her periphery.

Dean looked up from the journal at last and stilled, eyes nearly popping out of their sockets as they examined the strong, tanned backside of his sister. He swallowed and stared at Sam for nearly a minute before realizing she’d asked him something, “What?”

“Can you fasten this for me?” She repeated quietly as she pulled her damp hair around to the side a little.

Dean closed the journal and stood up, carefully walking over and taking the bra, “You uh… You never seen a girl put one of these on… Have you?” He asked, clearing his throat.

“Come on, Dean, we both know you’ve had more practice with this,” She giggled nervously, trying to avoid eye contact.

“I have,” Dean confirmed, “But women put it on differently than I take it off’a them.” He held the bra upside down by the ends and reached around Sam, bringing the clasps back to the front underneath her breasts and swallowed, trying to control his breathing and not appear obvious as he hooked the two together, feeling the bottoms of her breasts feather lightly against his hands, just below his thumbs.

He checked the band and moved his hands to the bras cups, pulling them up over Sam’s chest and helping his arms through the straps. “Too tight?” He asked, voice heavy as he snapped them lightly down on Sam’s shoulders and tightened them for his sister.

“It’s good, thank you,” She breathed as her body practically melted. She grabbed the clingy white shirt from the bag and pulled it on over the black bra, turning around to meet Dean’s gaze.

“You find anything?” Sam questioned, grimacing in pain as she moved to the bed.

“Not yet, but it can’t be that deep in,” Dean said, turning back and grabbing the journal up, “I mean… Those boxes have been in there for a while, right? So it’s gotta be some time early…”

Sam snatched the journal from Dean and tossed it on the table, “Can you rub my back and shoulder’s a little?” She asked, grabbing his hand as she pulled him to the bed, “I’m so stiff from all the man-handlin’ earlier.”

Dean nearly choked at the wording, but decided to throw it back, “So… You don’t mind if _I_  man-handle you?”

She looked at him stern, “No, you’re gonna be easy,” She said, smirking slightly as she placed her body between his thighs, “Right?”

Dean’s eyes widened but he nodded, “As easy as you like,” He promised, hands moving carefully to her shoulders as he began working the muscles between his fingers.

Her head rolled to the side in relaxation as she rested her hands on his knees. “Feels good,” She sighed and she closed her eyes.

“I’m half-tempted to go back out there and find those guys again,” Dean said, gaze set on the bruise forming on his sister’s shoulder blade, “I shoulda been faster.”

“I shouldn’t have been so stubborn in the first place,” She whispered as she squeezed his knee slightly, as if to reassure him that it wasn’t his fault, “At least these bruises will be a reminder.”

 _What was happening?_  It felt like the longer Sam was a girl, the more he actually  _felt_  like a girl. She started to find it hard to remember that Dean was her brother, and not just some hero that came to her rescue; a hero that she wanted to thank  **properly**.

Dean moved his hands lower, thumbs working under her shoulder blades and finding a particularly tight knot to work through, “I don’t think you realize how you look, Sam,” He breathed, swallowing, “S’not an invitation or anythin’… You’re not askin’ to be molested… But damn, m’ **not** surprised they  _tried_.”

She turned her head to look at him and smiled, quickly glancing down at his lips, “You think I’m pretty?” she asked seriously, almost craving his praise.

“Pretty?” Dean chuckled at the virgin term, “That’s…” He whistled lightly in a single note, “You have  **no**  idea, Sam. You’re…  _Beautiful_.” The word came out before he could stop himself and he looked away, working Sam’s back between his fingers still, but unable to watch them anymore.

She blushed as she turned around again, hands still on his knees as she scooted her back a little closer towards him.

“That’s sweet, Dean, thank you,” she murmured, thinking that was something she could get used to hearing everyday. She had never remembered Dean being capable of compassion like this, it was really quite endearing.

“It’s just true,” Dean said gruffly and moved his hands back up to her shoulders, “I really wanna go out there and hand it to those assholes again.” For the most part, he was trying to keep his  _own_  thoughts of her innocent, trying not to think of her like those men were; Sam deserved better.

She pulled from him and stood up, turned around and leaned into where she was sitting as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pressing her chest into his as her knees settled on the mattress between his legs.

“I mean it,” she whispered, “Thank you, for everything.”

Dean froze, eyes widening as he carefully wrapped his arms around Sam and tried to still his breathing, “W-Welcome.” He closed his eyes at the feel of her breasts pressing into him and grimaced as he hardened even more.  _Fuck_.

Sam lingered a moment before pulling a way, as she placed a small ‘thank you’ kiss on his cheek. She got up and walked to the kitchen, her hips swaying noticeably, “You wanna beer, stud?” she questioned. She knew how strong she was coming onto him, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care. I mean  _damn, look at the man._

Dean’s eyes followed the movement of her ass and he shifted his pants the moment her back was turned, “Yeah, I could use one.”

She grabbed two beers from the fridge and came back into the room, placing her’s on the table as she walked his over to him. She stopped right in front of him as she lifted the hem of her shirt, using it to twist the top off the beer, yet intentionally exposing skin at the same time, she smirked.

She leaned in a little, bending slightly so that Dean could get a peek down the front of her shirt, if he really wanted to, as she handed him his beer. She wanted him, and she was trying to make it  _painfully_ obvious.

“Here ya go,” She snickered before turning away.

Dean took the beer from her with shaking fingers, eyes widening as he observed in the soft, smooth skin of her tummy, the firm press of her breasts against the white tank top she wore. He felt at once like he’d swallowed sand, and he was going to die if this kept up,  _surely_.

She walked back over to the table, ignoring him, but she knew she had his attention. She repeated the same motion for her own beer, then brought it up to her mouth, wrapping her lips completely around the end of the bottle as she took a drink; Something you’d see a whore doing in a bar while she was trying to bait her next victim.

She sat the bottle back down and looked at Dean, slightly amused, “You okay?” she questioned with a smile in her eyes.

The older Winchester nodded, peeling his gaze from her body as he sipped his beer, “Fine,” He responded, unclasping the cuffs of the dress shirt he’d put on after she’d left for the store, folding them back up his arms and stopping at his elbows. He kicked his shoes off, shifting back onto the bed and grabbing the journal once more as he tried to get comfortable.

For how he felt inside, he had to give himself some serious credit, for keeping his dick in his pants. Most women he’d’ve already swept off their feet at this point, and would’ve been folding over their skin, memorizing their curves with the pads of his fingers, not shifting his cock in his goddamn jeans and denying himself everything he wanted.

It was Sam, too, which didn’t help. How he felt went beyond the gender curse, but he’d never thought on it for too long. What she was doing already was too much for him to handle, he was worried, because she… Seemed to be coming onto him, very clearly; shamelessly.


	2. Chapter 2

Sam huffed a little, feeling slightly defeated. She wasn't going to give up, she'd get him to give in eventually. She walked over to the bed and laid down, grabbing the remote and began flipping through the channels mindlessly; until she found casa erotica.

She tucked one arm under the back of her head as she used her other hand to officially _feel_ her new body for the first time, and she was doing it right in front of Dean, slowly working her free hand down to her shorts.

Dean looked up and paused, mouth popping open in surprise, " _Sam_?" He asked loudly, cock instantly filling, and his eyes watered, "What're you doin'?"

"Well, If you haven't noticed, I've been blessed momentarily with this _amazing_ body,” She all but purred as she tucked her hand underneath the hem of her shorts, "You really expect me not to give it a test drive?” she questioned, eying Dean seductively.

"Good point," The older Winchester agreed, short of breath as he watched his sister with hungry eyes.

She spread her legs a little, enough to give Dean the show she wanted and trailed her fingers down to her heat. She hissed a little from the sensation at first, this was all new to her. Even though she was touching herself underneath of her shorts, she could tell that it was working, Dean looked as if he were on edge.

She brought her finger's back up out of her shorts and slowly slid a few of them into her mouth, tasting herself while she smiled at him.

Dean moved at once, off his own bed in one bound and climbing over her. He could resist many, _many_ things, but this **wasn't** one of them. He took her hand from her mouth and kissed Sam at once, tongue lashing out over her's as he tasted the salty tang and reached out, grabbing the remote and flicking the tv off.

 _Finally_ , Sam thought as she kissed back, her tongue delving deep into his mouth as she let little whimpers out. She ran her fingers up through his hair, grabbing and tugging a little, trying to keep him close. With his body flush to hers now, she could feel herself physically **ache** for him to be in her.

The older Winchester groaned into her mouth, running his palm down her smooth tummy and slipping his hand into her shorts, under her panties. The soft curls brushed the tips of his fingers and he shifted lower, his index sliding between the folds and gently teasing her clit as he sucked on her tongue.

Her whole body went rigid as she bucked her hips into Dean's hand, needing more, but realizing this would **technically** be her first time. "I knew you wanted it,” she moaned into his mouth as she dug her fingernails into the back of his neck, definitely proud of herself.

"How could I _not_?" Dean asked, moving his fingers lower, his pinky curling to continue brushing along her clit as the rest shifted deeper into her heat, teasing the wetting folds as he moved, lifting her shirt with his other hand and taking her right breast into his mouth, teeth worrying the hard nipple between them.

Her back arched as she moaned aloud in pleasure, a lot louder than she was expecting. The way his body was teasing her's was indescribable, something on a whole new level, it felt so _right_.

She watched him, biting her lip and smiling as he took her nipple between his teeth, "Dean,” she gasped as she writhed harder against him.

He'd never been so turned on by a single person in his entire life, and considering how many women Dean had slept with, _that_ was saying something. He was rock hard in his pants, but it didn't bother him much anymore as he busied himself pleasuring her, index finger carefully slipping inside as the rough flat of his tongue dragged over her nipple and he moved to the next, replacing the first with his left hand.

The hot wetness of his tongue was almost enough to send her body into spasms, making all of her nerves stand at attention, She could feel wetness pooling between her thighs as he continually teased her. _Goddamn,_ was he a pro at this, she almost wanted to give him a fucking medal for being such a champ.

"So wet,” she groaned as she tried spreading her legs even further apart for him.

Dean pulled his mouth back, shifting to bite along her jaw, "Are you kiddin'? You're fuckin' soaked," He breathed and reached around, finally snapping her bra and pulling it **and** her shirt off completely. He moved back down, a second finger pushing into her as they began thrusting carefully.

She fondled and squeezed at her breasts to keep her hands busy as Dean put another finger in. Her breathing hitched as she bit down hard on her lip to get herself through the initial pain, bringing blood. " _Fuck_ ,” She cried out, immediately grabbing at Dean's arms, squeezing so hard her knuckles turned white.

He couldn't name how many girls he'd snagged the virginities of at this point, so Dean wasn't particularly surprised with her response, but he wanted to do Sam right... _Literally_. It was still his brother in there, and Dean wanted to treat him with the highest of respects.

He pulled his fingers away, sitting up on his knees and yanking his shirt off. His hands moved to her hips, taking the shorts and sliding them down her legs, panties and all.

He spread her tanned, milky thighs, staring at the soft, pink, virgin folds, like the bud of a rose before he leaned down, one hand holding her left leg and the other grabbing her hips as he took her clit between his lips, sucking gently and teasing the sensitive skin with his tongue.

"Oh my god,” she gasped as she felt his tongue brush her clit, she reached down so she could run her finger's through his hair. She watched and grinded a little here and there as he worked his magic, taking away any qualms she had about him _entering_ her. She brought one hand back up and rolled a nipple between her fingers as her bottom half involuntarily shuddered against his mouth.

The hand Dean had on her hip moved up carefully, fingers touching the sensitive skin under her right breast as his second hand released her leg, moving to spread Sam open for him. He shifted, sliding his legs down as his thumb replaced his tongue and he licked a wet, rough, teasing strip over her soaking folds before pressing inside of her slightly.

"Easy,” she gasped, throwing her head back from the sensation. This probably irritated the hell out of Dean, having been with so many women and then having to take it slow with _her_. She rested her hand on Dean's jaw, as she slid the tip of her thumb into Dean's mouth, her own jaw falling open at the sight of it.

Dean pulled back and looked at her, raising his brows as he swallowed and wiped his bottom lip, " **That** was too fast?"

"No, I'm sorry, I'm just a little scared,” she apologized as she pulled him in for a kiss.

Dean kissed back, grinning slightly, "Of bein' eatin' out?" He pulled back as he reached down, shifting his pants with his right hand.

"You keep forgetting this is still kind of new to me, so _yes_ ,” she chuckled, glancing down at his dick as she licked her lips.

"Good point," Dean chuckled, shifting out of his pants and undershorts completely, "Most would've... Masturbated a few thousand times before I got my hands on 'em. You're practically the fuckin' Virgin Mary of virgins."

She giggled, "Oh but you are so _good_ at what you do,” she paused, "That's for sure,” smiling at him. "Just promise you'll try not to hurt me?” she asked innocently.

Dean kissed along her jaw, "Perfect gentleman," He breathed huskily over her skin as his hips dropped, the rock hard length of his cock resting over her heat, just enough to tease her clit, "That doesn't mean you aren't gonna be screamin' by the end of it, though."

She shuddered a little when his silky, yet undeniably hard dick pressed against her clit, and she closed her eyes for just a moment. "You could probably get me to do just about anything with the right look,” she breathed, staring at him from beneath heavy lids as she grabbed his hips.

The older Winchester stared at her, eyes darkening as he moved his hips, the length of his cock dragging over the sensitive skin, "Is that so?" He asked, smirking.

"Mhm,” Sam mumbled, her eyes fluttering shut as her head rolled to the side, savoring the pleasure.

"Should I... Continue?" Dean asked, teeth dragging along her neck.

"Mmm, please,” The younger Winchester breathed heavily, needing _more_ of a physical connection to him.

Dean dropped back down, lips caressing her skin as he moved, taking up quickly where he'd left off, thumb worrying her clit and tongue tasting her heat, mouth watering hungrily as he did so.

She used one hand to grab the sheets next to her, and the other to delicately brush at his hair with her fingertips. " _Dean_ ,” she moaned lowly as her body went rigid yet again.

His second hand moved from her hip and Dean gently, carefully slipped a finger inside of the wet warmth, mouth moving to her clit again as he glanced up at her through his lashes.

What she was feeling the instance he looked up at her was an unmistakable sensation she knew that she had felt before, just a little different this time. She knew she was about to cum, how could she not with him looking at her like that; _oh_ and the way he knew how to move his tongue.

"Dean, I think... I think I'm gonna cum,” she moaned, looking back down at him.

Dean licked his lips, pressing a second finger inside of her as his teeth worried her clit between them. His mouth opened and he dragged his tongue over the expanse of her before he answered, "Cum for me, Sammy-boy."

She moaned and her body began to shake, she let out a slight yell as she bucked her hips and came, her muscles throbbing relentlessly as she brought an arm up to lay across her face.

Breathing heavily, yet relaxed, she said, "You haven't called me 'Sammy' since...” she paused, grinning, "You know.”

Dean's eyes widened slightly, watching her as she soaked his hand and he pulled out carefully, licking his fingers, "Since what?" He asked, "Since you _changed_?"

She nodded, "I missed hearing it.” She started blushing when she realized just how much of a _girly_ girl she was being.

"I missed sayin' it," Dean moved up, kissing his _brother_ and smoothing his body against her's.

He elicited another moan out of her when he moved up, "Gonna give me more?” she questioned as she nipped at his bottom lip.

"Are you ready?" Dean breathed against her mouth, eyes following hers as he grabbed her hips suggestively.

"As I'll ever be,” Sam responded, preparing herself.

Dean swallowed, lifting her leg and positioning his length against her entrance as he pushed in enough to feel the sack of blood inside, waiting for him to break it and he looked into her eyes, "It's gonna hurt, you know?" He said, raising his brows. He suddenly, honestly didn't know if Sam had ever taken a girl's virginity before, but he wanted to be careful with his brother.

"I can do this,” She breathed, looking back at him with an equal amount of concern.

He leaned down and kissed Sam as he shifted, bracing his knees as he grabbed her hips, pulling out a bit before thrusting and breaking through her, there was only a slight, subtle resistance and it was done.

Her whole body tensed as she nuzzled her face into his shoulder, clawing at his back, she bit into his skin. She was clinging to him, holding him still so that he couldn't move. After the pain started to fade a little, her body relaxed a bit more and she placed a kiss on the tip of his nose and nodded for him to continue.

Dean breathed, closing his eyes as he felt the tight walls clenching around him, welcoming, but still gripping him firm, "Fuck, Sammy," He said, pulling out of her carefully before thrusting back inside, " _Fuck_."

She moaned, the sensation still new, but it hurt so good. "More,” she gasped into his ear as she flicked the tip of his lobe with her tongue.

"Anythin' you want," Dean reassured as he began thrusting faster, lifting her left leg to his torso as he took her lips with his.

At first she let Dean have complete control, the way he was grinding into her had her making noises she'd never heard come from he throat. But when she felt like she had a good enough feel for the situation, she pushed him off of her and maneuvered herself so that she was straddling him, and so he could see _all_ of her.

"You don't mind, do you?” Sam breathed as she began writhing her heat down onto him.

Dean stared up at her, hands resting on her hips as the younger Winchester bounced in his lap and he moaned, "Not in the slightest." _Goddamn_ , it was hot when women took action like that. And knowing it was _Sam_? _His baby boy_? Goddamn, it **did** things.

He let her take control as his hands moved up her back, clasping the soft skin before he shifted his legs, taking her waist again and thrusting up into her heat with the muscles in his thighs.

She looked down at him seductively, grabbing his hands as she placed them on her bouncing tits. She leaned back a little, resting her palms on his knees for leverage as their bodies worked together towards the same goal.

She'd seen enough porn to understand how this works. Every once in a while she'd slow down and tighten her muscles, just for him, and she worked herself up and down his length.

"You feel amazing,” Sam groaned as the older Winchester thrust up into her.

"Sammy," Dean breathed, sitting up and wrapping an arm around her waist as he mouthed her chest. His left hand moved down, the pad of his thumb rubbing her clit as she rode him, teasing the flesh as his other hand gripped her back to hold her flush against him.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, keeping him close to her as she bounced, occasionally stealing butterfly kisses. This wasn't a feeling she soon wanted to forget, being close to him, not only emotionally invested in each other like they'd always been, but it was deeper; it meant _more_. She hugged him hard, keeping his face between her breasts as she began grinding down on him.

The older Winchester panted heavily, slowing as he grabbed her waist and shifted them back around, laying Sam beneath him as he changed positions. "M'close," He admitted, "Real close. But not yet," He smirked, "Wanna make you feel somethin' first."

She looked confused, but almost intrigued at the same time, "What?” The younger Winchester smiled warily.

Dean took her right leg, bending it and setting it between his left peck and arm so that he was at an inward angle and able to press in deeper. He wrapped Sam's other leg around his waist and thrust in sharp against the most sensitive parts inside of her.

Her eyes widened as her mouth popped open in pleasure, gasping as her hands found his body as quickly as they could. She looked up at him with a mixture of shock and euphoria in her eyes as a tear slid out of the corner of her left.

How important was it that she was turned back into a guy? Because she didn't want to let this go, didn't want to let _him_ go. He went out of his way to make her feel good, to make this as much about her as possible, she's never had that, even when she was a **he**.

"L-love you,” she mumbled, almost completely inaudible. And she did, she loved him so much in that exact moment that it fucking _hurt_.

Dean reached up, fingers wiping her cheeks and he kissed her sweetly, "Love you, Sammy, baby boy," He said.

He was in awe, watching her fall to pieces underneath him, it had to be the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen in his entire life. He moved, kissing her neck and jaw, kissing her cheeks and temples, kissing her forehead as he pressed his palm to her heart, feeling it beat beneath him.

She laid her hand over his, "I can't ever lose you,” she stammered, "Not again,” her voice breaking. She closed her eyes as he showered her face with kisses, trying to fight away the tears and, instead, revel in the fact that he was there, in this moment - with her - and for now, that was _enough_.

"Same," Dean breathed, folding his arms around her and pulling her against him as he continued thrusting, close enough himself that he could barely think. He gasped, eyes shutting as his toes curled and his legs tremor-ed. He thrust into her once, twice, again and he came, clutching her tight in his arms as he collapsed over her, panting.

When Dean came in her, something hit her like a freight train, damn near knocking the breath out of the younger Winchester. The all too familiar, light-headed sensation returned, she grimaced because she realized that all of this was being taken from her before she really even decided if she wanted to be **fixed**.

This was the cure? Dean's _orgasm_?

She looked at him like she thought her heart could've just burst right then and there.

They were going to go back to the way they'd always been, caring about one another, but never enough to actually sit down and talk things through. With Dean, he always held things in, and that's what he'd probably go back to.

Sam was overwhelmed, so she pushed him off of her and ran to the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind her. Her thoughts were completely irrational as she clung to what had just transpired between the two of them, knowing that was something she could never forget, even if she tried.

Dean frowned in confusion, turning to the bathroom door, "Sam?" He asked, winded and wiped, barely able to hold himself up. Everything had _seemed_ fine between them, _better than fine_ , had he assumed **wrong**?

He stood, wincing in pain, "Sam?" He asked again, moving to the bathroom door.

"It's happening,” She cried, "I can't go back to the way we were, Dean, I won't,” her voice muffled from behind the bathroom door.

"Sammy," Dean leaned against the frame, "Let me in, baby boy."

"You're not gonna want me when...” She trailed, standing up and pillaging the bathroom for anything she could find, anything to just _end_ it before she turned back. At least this way she'd go knowing that Dean **did** love her, and that he had _wanted_ her. She was panicking, she couldn't even control herself.

"I want you _anyway_ , Sam," Dean said, panicking, "I don't care if you're a guy. Goddammit, I was in love with you _before_ all this happened. Years," He admitted, voice shaking, " _Years_ , Sam."

"How can I believe that, Dean?” She sobbed, finally finding a bottle of pills. She twisted the cap frantically, dropping a few in the sink as she poured the rest into her hand, shocked at what she was about to do.

 _He's just saying this to stop you_ , was all she could think as she tossed the pills in her mouth.

Dean pulled back and slammed his shoulder hard against the door, forcing it open and rushing inside, "Sam!" He shouted, grabbing the empty bottle from her hands and holding her arms, "What did you take?! How many was in there?"

"Almost the whole bottle,” She mumbled, face blank.

Dean hissed, grabbing her jaw as he moved them back, pushing her to the ground near the toilet as he forced his fingers down her throat to bother her gag-reflex.

 _Why couldn't he just let her go? It'd be easier, less hurt in the end_. She vomited, hands clawing into Dean's collarbone as she coughed the pills back up, down into the toilet bowl, her body shuddering as she started to sob.

Shortly after the sobbing came the flying fists, she was angry, furious. "Why did you **do** that?” she screamed, tears streaming down her face as she punched into his chest.

Dean would've let her beat on him all she wanted, but-"Stop," He said, grabbing her wrists, "Stop, Sam. You're gonna hurt yourself." He lifted Sam against her will as he held both her hands in one of his and brought them back into the bedroom, wiping her mouth and cheeks as he laid her down and kissed her, "Calm down," He said as she struggled, "Don't fight me, Sammy, I ain't lettin' up."

She fought until she was blue in the face, until her body became so exhausted that she couldn't move. Right before she fell asleep, she knew that, when she woke up, that she'd be a _he_ and everything between her and Dean would've meant nothing.

She looked at him, tears filling her eyes, and as she closed them, as she dozed off, a tear fell down her cheek. This isn't what she wanted, and when she finally woke up a he, it'd be obvious that it wasn't what _Dean_ wanted, either.

Dean leaned in and kissed her, holding her tight as he tried to keep himself calm. The suicide attempt was likely a side effect of the cursed object Sam had touched, but it terrified the living hell out of him, having to see his sister, his **brother** , like that. Having to see Sam like that, with such pain and fear in her eyes.

His thicker arms wrapped tight around hers, constricting as he tried to sleep some, but kept his body in an alarmed state, just in case.

* * *

The same dreams ensued as before, horrible ones that Sam didn't care to remember. This time was different though, his body actually ached in his sleep, the transition back to being a male _hurt_.

He was the first to wake, as per usual, and he noticed that Dean had his arms wrapped around him, probably trying to make sure that 'she' didn't try anything else. He grabbed Dean's arms and pulled them off of him softly, as he quietly crawled out of bed.

He grabbed some clothes that'd fit and went to the bathroom to get dressed, fully intending on leaving when he was done, maybe leaving a note? _No, that'd be too cheesy,_ he'd just leave.

Dean woke at once, arms wrapping around air and he sat up, "Sam?" He asked and saw the bathroom light on, the door still half on it's hinges and he stood, running to it, completely naked head to foot and he relaxed when he saw his brother, "Goddammit, don't **do** that again. You nearly scared me half-way to death's door."

Sam stood, a little annoyed that Dean caught him before he could make a clean get-away. He huffed, buttoning his shirt, afraid to look at his brother.

Dean frowned and narrowed his brows, "Just like that?" He asked, moving into the bathroom, "You're not gonna talk about this?"

"Just go put some clothes on first,” Sam suggested, still unable to look at his brother, "Then we'll talk.”

"No, there's no talkin' about nothin'," Dean moved to the larger man, grabbing Sam's arms, "You're not goin' anywhere."

"I didn't say anything about leaving,” The younger Winchester paused, looking down at Dean, "Now please, at least put some pants on?"

Dean shrugged and sighed, not even slightly ashamed of his nudity as he moved to Sam's bed, picking up his clothes from where he'd shucked them off the night before and pulled the underpants on, followed shortly by his jeans.

Sam watched after Dean for a moment, he wouldn't be out of the room long, but it'd be long enough for Sam to maneuver himself through the tight window in the bathroom, he had to be quick about it though.

No sooner the thought crossed his mind, he was standing outside of the other side of the bathroom window when he heard Dean come back into the bathroom. All Sam could offer was a quick ' _I'm sorry_ ' and he took off running, as fast as his long legs would take him.

He knew that he was acting childish, but what other option did he have? If he didn't get the lead out, Dean would be on his ass in no time.

Dean stood still, staring at the window and he sighed. _Fine_. He felt the hard rejection take him over and he nodded, moving to the window and closing it. He had been... Worrisome about what he'd done when Sam was a woman, but he didn't think his brother would've just bailed while his back was turned. So, _he let Sam run_. Whenever he was ready to come back, Dean would be here; _waiting_.

* * *

Sam ran, at first it was a dead sprint, but eventually dropped to a slow, comfortable jog, until he was beat. He nearly stopped all together when he'd realized that Dean hadn't followed after, like he thought he would.

He stood slumped over with his hands on his knees, panting, and stared back in the direction he was running from, wondering _why_ exactly Dean didn't follow, not even to beat the shit out of Sam.

When he snapped back and took a look at his surroundings, he realized that, when he'd stopped running, he had stopped along the left side of the road, feet planted almost center between the curb and the left lane. He looked up, shielding his eyes from the blinding light as the car began to veer, tires squealing loudly in his ears, and he was out.

Even in this state of unconsciousness, Sam knew that he wasn't dead. He fell deeper into sleep, and it was always the same repetitive dream over and over, making the state he was in seem like some sort of hell.

He wanted to force himself awake, but he _couldn't_.

He wanted to apologize to Dean, but he knew it was too late. Dean would never find him here. Dean hadn't went after him, because he'd ran. He'd abandoned his brother, again; and now he was going to pay for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _If you wanted more sexy gifs that look like Fem!Sam and Dean, go[here](http://carryonmywincestsounds.tumblr.com/private/35515274517/tumblr_mdcg2aYeVy1ru2qqy)._


	3. Chapter 3

Dean waited the next three days out with nervous, thoughtless starvation. He sat, often, in the bathroom, on the floor, where the empty pill bottle was, and watched it roll back and forth under his fingers.

When he wasn't there, he was sitting in his bed, staring across the expanse of Sam's, the tangled mess of sheets, the stale smell of their sex hanging loosely in the air.

Half of it didn't feel real, he was too numb with shock to really take in the absence of the younger Winchester. And he wasn't really sure if it was worse than staring along the dead body of his brother, just moments before he sold his soul to bring Sam back. They were both fears, pains; they were different, and somehow the same.

It was when Dean started to feel fatigued, weak, hungry, and the growling of his stomach echoed in the room, that he actually left the apartment to do anything else. He was finally hungry enough to evacuate the moping state of delirious hopelessness, and he got up, going out to eat and staring silently at the empty seat across from him.

He'd wait as long as he had to but, clearly, starving himself wouldn't help if he wanted to be there when his brother returned; whenever it was - if ever it was. Sam probably wouldn't come back at all, he never did, when he ran. The younger Winchester had always been able to just pick up and leave Dean behind. Dean had to be ready for that, this time. He had to be ready to never see his brother again, even though every instinct inside of him hungered to follow after his brother.

Sam needed space, time to think, time to either pick back up and return, or never come back. And Dean had to respect which decision it turned out to be, in the end.

Either way, he was _done_.

He was tired of this track of revenge and avenging, saving and being saved. He was tired of it all. He'd lost **everything** because of it. All it ever had done was brought him pain. At the end of the day, if Sam moved on, he could always come back here for Dean, so it was best the older Winchester stayed put anyways. And, if he returned, maybe they didn't have to leave a normal life behind.

So Dean stopped hunting all together.

* * *

When Sam finally woke up, rising from the deep depths of his mind, as if lifting his head from a pool of heavy emptiness, he heard the soft, faded beeping sounds around him. His vision was a little blurry but, all-in-all, it wasn't nearly as bad as he was anticipating.

He had bruises and cuts littering the surface of his body, every bit of it that he could see. It ached more than anything, to move, but he tried. He sat up in the stiff hospital bed and looked around the room in observance.

The younger Winchester was a little more than shocked to find the still form of Castiel, angel of Thursday, staring out of the window with his back to him. His hands were folded in back of him, the way that usually translated to serious sincerity.

"You hurt him,” The angel stated in that low, familiarly gruff voice of his, as if parting the air before his face with his tone, "When you run from him, Sam, it hurts him _more_ than if you would have died,” He paused, tilting his head, gaze still set outside the window.

Sam sat as quietly as possible, heart racing, hand running the line of a scar on his forearm, tears brimming his eyes, just listening to the peculiar, haunting man before him.

"It hurts him more, because you had the option to stay this time - and you chose not to, to leave him behind,” The angel turned to look at Sam disapprovingly before he vanished.

Sam sat there for the rest of the day, still on his bed, hands clasped together before him, mind filtering through what Castiel had said. The realization was sudden, jarring, and it hit him hard - much like the car had - because he knew Castiel was right. Returning to Dean before had been bad enough, how was it even going to be **possible** to face his older brother, this time?

The nurses came in about every 15 minutes, checking his vitals and reassuring him that he'd be released later that night. He only had one place to go when they _did_ release him, and he only had one thing he needed to do. Running away from this wouldn't help anything, and he was tired of trying to leave Dean behind.

* * *

Dean had turned 'waiting in the motel' into 'wandering around town', eventually; even striking up light conversations with the men at the repair shop just down the road. It started with short, simple conversations before the men started realizing things about Dean. And they began to favor him, surprisingly.

The older Winchester had always been interested, curious, of working with cars. He knew enough, and he learned fast, and that was something they'd picked up on about him. It was clear, very obvious to them, that most of what Dean knew was self-taught, and learned out of an almost childish sense of wander and exploring.

It was only a matter of time before he took in with them and started helping around their shop, doing simple things at first, and then they started to lead him through, slowing when they realized that he was learning faster than they had time to teach him.

A natural, that's what the men called him - unusually quick to figure out the workings, the reasons, the purposes for things about cars. He'd known that about himself, but he understood now that it was an often sought after trait.

Learning and helping out then, quickly, became assisting in restoring their classic cars with light pay on the side, and then restoring full ones on his own. It was just enough to busy his mind, to keep it off of his missing brother, and he welcomed the distraction.

It wasn't enough to fill the emptiness, or stop him from wandering around when he got back from work, keeping his eyes out for Sam.

* * *

It was about 8pm when the nurse came in to hand Sam his discharge papers and unhooked him from the monitors, clearing him for leave.

He decided, instead of calling a cab, it'd be better for him to walk, work out the sore muscles he'd acquired over the past few days, or however long he was out of it. He hadn't asked, and he honestly didn't want to know. He knew from their reactions to him that it had to be some sort of **while**. _What day was it anyways?_

The younger Winchester walked slowly, taking his time, trying to figure out just what exactly he was going to say to Dean. How could he even excuse himself? Where was he suppose to start? He didn't have a clue, would just have to wing it, most of what he said depended on his brother's reactions. He wasn't sure what kind of mind set Dean was in after such an... _Abandonment_.

Sam finally made it to the hotel and, instead of using his key to get in, he just knocked - and waited. It was best if he didn't press himself on Dean, if the older Winchester still wanted distance.

* * *

Dean was still settled in at the shop, working late into the night. It wasn't often that he did so, but some times he needed something to fill his mind, something to take up all of the space so that he didn't have to think about all of his losses. He had the stereo of the next car over blaring the last tunes of a Quiet Riot song, was nodding his head and dropping his foot to the beat of it as it finally died down.

He was busied, restoring the old Mustang he'd grown slightly fond of - it'd been crumbling to pieces when the small, family owned company bought it over from a young man for nearly a thousand dollars. It hadn't been worth even a hundred when they took it off of him, but Dean overheard the group mentioning some sort of sympathy for his family; so he didn't ask about the blown up price they'd taken it in for.

By now though, it was already worth at _least_ five grand, and they hadn't spent a cent on it otherwise, with Dean's sweat put into the thing. By the time he was done with it, one grand to help a struggling family out would seem like nothing.

He was just about done with his shift when he sliced his forearm open on a jagged chunk of metal on the way out from under her. Truth be told though, he'd been expecting some sort of injury for a while now. Her entire bottom half had originally been bent out like the teeth of a goddamn chainsaw and, since he was working there recently, it was bound to happen.

He winced as blood dribbled down suddenly along the collar of his shirt, and that was something he'd have to replace, alongside getting some sort of tetanus shot in hopes that there was nothing more sitting along the underside of the car.

The older Winchester reached out, grabbing a dirty towel up before making his way to the front of the store and excusing himself for the night. It was a couple hours earlier than he would've liked, but he couldn't work with his arm messed up; he'd have to take care of it the moment he got back to the motel.

* * *

Sam stood in front of the door anxiously, itching mindlessly at his chest, over the cleaned shirt, when he noticed that the Impala wasn't even parked outside. But if Dean wasn't here, then _where was he?_ How could he have left here without Sam? _Unless_... Unless he thought that Sam wasn't coming back. Which was probably the case, considering how very often Sam **didn't**. _  
_

He shuffled his feet a little, kicking at rocks along the worn, cobbled sidewalk, deciding that he should probably head back, but where exactly was he going to go? He didn't have anywhere else, he didn't even have a lead - a general idea of where Dean would've headed off to.

He started walking anyways, wondering if Dean could've picked up and hit the next town over, or even be within the states borders. Sam wandered mindlessly from the motel, no real sense of direction leading him, his thoughts full of confusion and concern.

* * *

The roads of the town were always really empty at night, old and worn because the county was in the slumps, but what places weren't lately? So Dean wasn't surprised to see that he was the **only** car on the road at 8 at night. He steered one-handed, trying to staunch the bleeding as his car crawled at 15, sometimes 20 all of the way back to the motel.

* * *

Sam was a little stumped by the lack of people out in this little podunk town, so it caught his attention when he recognized the familiar hum of the Impala; he couldn't see it, but he could _hear_ it.

He froze and started heading back to the motel, surely that's where Dean'd be going, right?

When Sam got back, he nearly cried with relief, staring out at the shining black inky color of Dean's Impala, nestled perfectly into the spot right before the motel room, sitting there as if it'd been there the entire time.

His nervousness igniting all over again, Sam sighed as he moved to the door and knocked loudly.

* * *

Dean looked up suddenly from the bed, eyes wide as he pulled the needle too tight on his arm and he hissed in pain. He stood though, nearly at once, ignoring the sting of freshly torn flesh as he grabbed up his gun and moved to the door.

"Who's there?" He asked gruffly, heart hammering in his chest. The last thing he wanted was to get his hopes up, even prematurely was too much to ask for.

"It's me, _Dean_ ,” Sam stammered, voice muffled from the slab of solid wood separating them from one another.

Dean reached out, twisting the knob and opening the door with his good arm, wincing in pain as he lifted the other and pointed the gun into Sam's face, " _Is it, now?_ " He asked, voice dark and dripping with venom as he raised a brow, the blood spilling down the length of his arm in a thick stream from his half-stitched cut, " _Really?_ "

"I'm not a shapeshifter or a demon, or anything like that, Dean, it's me,” Sam huffed, trying to smile dimly. His beat up face becoming a bit more serious when he noticed that his brother was bleeding, "What happened to your arm?” he questioned as he tried moving closer, to examine the wound.

Dean moved from the doorway, holding his arm steady, gun still in Sam's face, "You're not comin' near me, **whatever** you are," He said at once, face changing from stern to hostile, "You... _You just get inside an' I'll find out what you are, myself._ "

"What the hell is wrong with you?” Sam's face twisted in concern as he backed up a little. "I swear, it's me,” he breathed as he lifted his hands up in defeat.

"Get inside now," Dean said as he backed up more and spoke slowly, " _Or I will put two through you, whatever you are. You understand?_ "

"Fine, just... Just calm down, Dean,” The younger Winchester muttered nervously as he slid into the room, hands still up. "Are you okay?” he asked with concern.

Dean moved around him, keeping the gun up as he checked outside before shutting and locking the door, "What's with all the questions you're askin'?" Dean turned back to the imposter and walked to the duffel-bag spread out on the bed, he grabbed the iron, a small canteen of holy water, and the demon-killing knife and put them on the table, "Go ahead, let's see."

"For fuck's sake, Dean, I told you,” Sam sighed, dropping his hands as he turned to look at Dean. He shook his head as he walked to the table. Picking up the knife, he cut a little section of his arm, not deep, but deep enough to show his brother. He proceeded to run his hand over the iron before reaching out to pick up and take a swig of the holy water. As he swallowed it, he stared at Dean, waiting for his approval.

"I'm telling you, Dean, It's me,” he mumbled.

The older Winchester finally allowed his protesting arm to drop and he moved back to the bed, grabbing a towel to stop the bleeding. He walked into the bathroom, filling a cup with water and comet before coming out into the main room and pouring it over where his blood had dripped down into the carpet. He didn't say anything as he set them to soak and clean before returning to the bed and continuing to stitch up his arm with the sharp, curved needle.

"You gonna let me help you?” Sam asked, walking a little closer with his hands reaching out.

"I got it, I'm fine," Dean said, looking up at his brother, "What got _you_?"

"Car,” Sam muttered as he looked down, wanting to help Dean stitch himself up, he was getting it too tight, "Please, just let me help you-”

" _Leave me alone_ ," Dean said loudly, glaring at Sam.

"I get it, you're pissed,” Sam stated, returning Dean's glare, "I deserve it.” He shrugged helplessly, "I was an ass, Dean, I ran,” he paused, "I ran because I was scared, can you honestly say that you don't understand that?”

"No, I **can't** _understand that_ , Sam," Dean said, standing up and shoving his brother with his wounded arm, pulling the stitches again, " **No. I don't.** I don't understand how you could be scared of _me_! I love you, and I fuckin' saved your life! More times'n just that night. More times'n I care to count. I've stuck my neck out so many times for you, in more ways than I expected to _have_ to. An' you ditched me, you left me **here**."

"You didn't even say goodbye," Dean's voice broke, eyes still steeled on his brother, "You lied to me. You lied an' then you left. How m'I **suppose** to feel? How did you expect me to react, Sam? Like everythin's all peachy fuckin' keen, an' I don't have this goddamn hole in my gut because of what you did? Don't you fuckin' ask me f'I understand," He said, tears running down his face finally, " _Because I **don't**_."

"I'm sorry," Sam started, feeling his stomach roll sickly at what he'd done to his brother, "I'm sorry that my first instinct when I feel like I'm getting _too_ close to you was to run. Sorry that any time I feel like a damn burden, I run,” he replied.

"I'm sorry that I constantly push away the one person that I care most about, the one person I love more than anything, Dean,” he dropped his head, "I'm not good at this, Dean, and I'm fucking _sorry_ ,” the last word that left his mouth sounded more like a sob than anything. Tears were welling up and he felt like scum, no, less than scum - he didn't deserve Dean's forgiveness, he didn't even **want** it, he wanted Dean to hate him for what he did, because it's what he deserved.

" **You're** scared?" Dean asked darkly, staring at his brother, "It's your automatic reaction to flee? You were in a relationship with Jess. I've... I've never been with... With _anyone_ ," He ground his teeth together and shoved Sam away a second time, yanking most of the stitches through his skin completely, wiping the tears from his cheeks with his bloodied arm, smearing globs of it over his freckles, "I slept barely a wink that night, holdin' you tight just to make sure that you wouldn't leave me an' try an' kill yourself again because of that stupid curse. You wanna talk about 'scared' with me, Sammy?"

"Yes, I'm fuckin' scared,” Sam said breathlessly, "You're right, I was in a relationship with Jess, but could you possibly think that she ever meant more to me than you? I'd put my fuckin' life down for you in a seconds notice, I **have** ,” he paused, looking at the door, thinking of how much _easier_ it'd be to just leave, but he wasn't here for 'easy'.

"I love you, Dean, but I'm scared. This doesn't come as natural to me as you may think,” He tried to explain, gesturing between the two of them, "It was _easier_ when I was a girl, man, things seemed more natural - actually seemed probable that you could possibly love me back, but _this_ ,” he stopped and breathed in deeply. "This isn't natural and I'm fuckin' terrified.”

Dean shook his head and turned from his brother as his shoulders trembled violently, "I thought I had _you_ ," He said through sharp, painful sobs, "I thought my life was comin' together for **once** , that it wasn't this ridiculous back n' forth'a feelin' worthless an' stupid, an' disgustin' for how I felt about you. That you actually _felt_ that way back. Somethin' just... It just fit. _I fit_."

His voice broke off, "For once in my sorry fuckin' life. It was the best of anythin'... Then you left. I've loved you forever it feels like. An' every time I let my guard down... You run away from me. I can't keep tryin'a hold on, Sammy. I can't."

"You're not worthless, you're not stupid and you're not disgusting,” Sam growled, "I **do** feel the same way about you, Dean, please believe me, I do.” He wiped the tears away angrily, "I'll apologize until I'm blue in the face, Dean, and no, I don't expect you to believe it,” he paused, walking closer to his brother, getting in his face, "Just let me prove it to you somehow, I know I have a shitty track record when it comes to stickin' around, I know, but if it brings you any peace of mind, keep me tied up, Dean, anything just-” he broke off, practically begging, sobbing like he hadn't done since he was a teenager, "I **need** you.”

Dean looked down at his feet, at the blood pooling on the floor from his arm, "I don't know what to do anymore... I don't know what's right with us an' what isn't..."

Sam dropped down to his knees and looked up at Dean, the vein in his forehead more pronounced from trying to keep from crying, "What we have, Dean, most _normal_ couples don't even have, and they never will,” he paused, "This is special, and we both know it, but instead of embracing it, embracing you like I should've been doin', I ran, I am so sorry.” He picked up Dean's hand lightly, "All I'm asking is for one last chance, because I know we can do this.”

Dean stepped back from his brother, shaking his head, "No." He steeled his jaw. "You said that it wasn't _natural_ for you. Did... Did you even _consider_ it before you were changed? Because **I** did. I always _have_. I knew it should be secret, but I never... R-" His voice broke off into a sob as he struggled to continue, "I never regretted it."

He swallowed and turned from Sam, "You should leave. It's clear that you don't wanna be here with me, you don't even wanna try, _like I do_ ," Dean looked at his brother, "Just **go**!" He shouted, voice hoarse, "Leave. I don't even want you here!"

"Dean, I'm not going anywhere,” The younger Winchester shook his head, "And of course I've considered it before, how could I not have? I do want to try damn it! Out of all the fucked up shit we've seen in our lives Dean, you are the _only_ thing I take solace in,” he paused, clenching his jaw, "If you want me to leave, you'll have to make me.”

Dean's tears cleared lines through the blood smeared on his face and he moved, shoving Sam, shoving him so hard he fell off his feet. He didn't want to hurt his brother though, he wanted to hurt **himself**. He turned, anger filling him until he couldn't think straight and he started punching the wall.

Sam scrambled back up onto his feet, grabbing Dean's arms, stilling his violence, "Just stop, Dean, please," he shouted, "Just **stop**."

Dean twisted away, grabbing Sam by the collar of his shirt with both fists as he pulled him in and shoved him back again with all the force he had, " **Don't**... **Touch me**..." He said as Sam fell on the floor once more. He'd been keeping this all inside of him for so long that he was seeing red and he turned, grabbing his gun and pointing it at his brother once more, " **Don't** come near me."

Sam stood slowly, walking towards Dean, even as the older man faltered. He pressed his chest firmly into the business end of the gun, "If you're gonna shoot me, then do it, I'm yours, if it's really what you want, then go ahead,” a tear streaked down his cheek, "I don't wanna live if you don't want me anyway.”

Dean dropped the gun and shook his head, more tears blurring his eyes as his anger diminished, " _You can't tell me to do that_. I don't think I could kill you even if you **were** somethin' else." He looked away, "Just _leave_."

"No, goddammit,” Sam growled through a clenched jaw, "I told you, I'm not goin' anywhere.”

Dean looked over at Sam's unmade bed, still a mess from their sex that night and he swallowed, remembering it, "I didn't leave the room for three days after you left," He said suddenly, tears dripping more through the blood, "I didn't even eat."

Sam tested Dean, still trying to see how close he could get before he got pushed away. He reached his hand up and wiped some of the blood stained tear's away, "Just give me a chance to make it up to you, take it out on me, anything," he whispered, remembering everything Dean had, just by glancing at the bed.

Dean shook his head, "I don't wanna take it out on you..." He said in a defeated voice. "I'm tired of bein' hurt an' bein' angry. I just want'chu to feel like I do... That's all I want. I just want thin's between us to work... Maybe go back to the way they were before I fucked it all up or somethin'..."

Sam brought his body closer, his chest against Dean's as he leaned in and kissed the shorter man, just one _slow_ , sensual kiss. He pulled away carefully, "I **do** love you, Dean, you didn't fuck things up... I did.”

It was their first kiss as men and it shocked the older Winchester down to the nails on his toes as yearning and pleasure filled him. He stared, blinking at Sam and swallowing, "I'm... I wanna try."

"Then that's what we'll do,” Sam smiled, the action reaching his eyes for the first time in a long time, despite just how bruised and cut up his face was, "Anythin' for you,” he added.

Dean backed away and let out a heavy breath as he made distance from Sam, sitting back on the bed again, "Yeah."

"What'd I do wrong _this_ time?” The younger Winchester questioned, watching his brother warily.

Dean put a new, clean towel on his arm, closed his eyes in pain, "I'm... I'm not ready to be intimate with you, Sammy... I don't think I will be for a while," He swallowed, "But I'm kinda bleedin' out here, an' I probably don't have much left to spare."

Sam didn't even think, he just grabbed the Jack, the needle and the wire and started sewing Dean up properly - without speaking.

When he was done, he poured some more liquor on it, cleaning it. He didn't really feel like he needed to address the intimate statement, he wasn't going to push anything on Dean, it'd happen when they were both ready. He'd be happy just to have Dean as his company until then; they _were_ brother's long before anything intimate had ever happened between them.

"If you don't pass out soon, I'll be surprised,” He mumbled, pointing to Dean's arm as he took a swig of the alcohol.

Dean grabbed it and sipped at the Jack himself, "I was workin'," He explained shortly, looking away from his brother.

"You got a job? Doin' what?” Sam questioned, raising his brows.

"Cars," Dean shrugged, "There's this place down the road that repairs classics and restores ruins. I got to talkin' to the people about my baby, and they sorta adopted me in. I never even applied. Just started workin' for free, to keep my mind off things. Then he started payin' me."

"Well, least it's somethin' you enjoy doin', right?” Sam asked, "You plan on stickin' around here?”

Dean nodded, "Yeah. I want to." He looked at Sam nervously, "I wanna... _Quit_."

Sam leaned back a little, his eyes widening, "Quit... **what**?” he asked, knowing the answer already.

"Smokin', what the hell do you **think** I'm talkin' about - huntin', of course," Dean said at once, "I told you, I'm tired. I don't wanna do it anymore. I'm not gonna leave my windows open an' my doors unlocked, an' I'll have my gun an' salt at the ready, but I'm tired of seekin' it out."

Sam put his hand on Dean's knee as he looked at him reassuringly, "It's fine, we don't _have_ to do it anymore,” he stated, "I'll do whatever you want.”

Dean nodded and let out a heavy breath, "Whether you want to or not, it's what I'm doin'. I'm tired of bein' afraid I'm gonna die every day of my life."

Sam found it exceedingly hard to go along with Dean's wishes of not being intimate, he wanted, more than anything, to kiss him again and just let him know that he wouldn't let anything happen to him **ever** again. Instead, all he could do was nod and say, "I understand.”

The older Winchester stood and walked into the bathroom, grabbing the comet and water again, looking at the ground in the spots where he'd bled, "It might be too late, but it's worth tryin' to clean up." It could've been said for both problems in the room, but he didn't state that.

Sam stood and took it from him, "I'll do it, you shouldn't even be standing, you need to sit back down,” he chastised.

"M'fine," Dean argued, "I should call in some food though, Jerry's probably open this late, you want pizza?"

"Sounds good,” The younger Winchester mumbled in agreement as he looked around and cleaned up the blood stains, "If we're stickin' around here, does that mean we'll take up residence somewhere a little more **permanent**?” his eyes flickered to Dean's eagerly.

"I been talkin' to Warren about that for the past couple days," Dean said as he pulled out his cellphone, "There's a house just passed the shop that's up for sale. It's in a state, 'cause it's been for sale for nearly twenty years now... But it's stable, an' it's fully furnished. Twenty years old fully furnished, but it's somethin'."

"You should tell him we'll take it, I'll even find a job or somethin',” Sam offered, thoughts flickering to what it'd be like to live alone with Dean, in their _own_ home.

Dean looked at his brother as he cleaned the floor, he flicked through the numbers and called the local pizza place, "Hey, Jerry," He said once the older man picked up, "Yeah, a bit. Could you? My usual, an' double it."

He paused and chuckled, "I may or may not have company. Maybe," He sat on the bed, "No, she's doin' good, purrin' as usual. Well I got my hands on a few more parts, thanks to you."

Sam just watched Dean, smiling when he referred to the Impala like it was _human_. He kept scrubbing with him, waiting for him to end the conversation on the phone.

"Well, it's got this bend in the back that I can't seem to shuffle outta her," Dean continued, "An' now I fucked up my arm, so I can't work on that. It's gonna hafta wait... Nah, it can wait... It can **wait** , Jerry," Dean scoffed, "I'll tell your wife. Don't doubt me, I will. I got her number too, you know. She may or may not bring me pies on occasion. Maybe."

Sam accidentally let out an obnoxious chuckle while he was listening to Dean, hearing him talk to the older man was amusing.

Dean barked a laugh and stood, "No, even **he** knows I'll go over there an' make sure Eileen ties you down to a chair if she has to. Your back is in no shape to fix a dent in any car, an' I'm like half your age. 'He'. Yes, that's what I said," Dean nodded, moving into the kitchen, "You already know this, Jerry, stop actin' so surprised," The older Winchester pulled up a beer, "Well, he's taller'n me."

Sam stood up and followed Dean almost like a lost puppy, intentionally listening to his conversation now, intrigued by what he was hearing. He stood next to his brother and crossed his arms with a curious smile on his face, wanting to straight out ask him what they were talking about, but settling for listening instead.

"Yes," Dean said, smiling at Sam as he sipped his beer, "Yes, Jerry. No, he doesn't dare touch'a car. He's kinda a pussy," The older Winchester laughed, "Law school, some time ago. Mm. Maybe." Dean paused, "Do I have to? Are you gonna get your ass over here with those pizzas if I tell you? Alright, he's like six foot four, yeah, yeah. Me, so far. That's... To be considered."

Dean paused and he laughed, "You're such a fuckin' perv, you old man. I'm tellin' Eileen you said that."

Dean said 'no intimacy' right? Well standing closely next to him wasn't really _intimate_ , was it? Sam brought his body closer to Dean's while he was still on the phone, smirking at him as he tugged on his shirt needily.

Dean shifted, "Okay, he's got kinda long hair. A bit. Big," He glanced at his brother, " **Really** big. I don't know, he works out a lot. More'n me, that's for sure, but the most I do is chug a beer. Are you comin' with them pizzas yet?"

Sam damn near fell on the floor cackling at Dean's description of him, he backed off finally, walking over to the table to sit, and waiting patiently for Dean to get off the phone.

"He's waitin' for you to stop talkin' to me, you old bat," Dean muttered, sipping his beer, "Maybe, I might bring him around some time, if you're not tryin' to peek passed the door. Tell Eileen I say 'hi'. No, don't take him out this late. He'll eat your tulips, I'm not kiddin', I've seen him do it."

"Either that or he'll pee on 'em," Dean rolling his eyes, "Just leave him out back, you're not comin' over here for a barbecue. You're seriously not," Dean turned back into the kitchen, speaking lower, "Well he's only just got back today. I'd kind of like to keep it between _us_ for a couple'a days. Yes, I'll see more'n the roof," He laughed, "You're the worst kinda perv, I'm tellin' your wife. I am."

"I'm serious, I'm callin' her right after I hang up with you, now get your ass over here before my pizza gets cold," Dean said, closing the phone and pocketing it, not even bothering to call Jerry's wife.

"Sorry," He said, looking at Sam, "He kinda gets to talkin'. Hard to say no to."

"You told him about me?” The younger Winchester asked inquisitively, lifting his head to smirk at his brother.

"Long story short," Dean moved over and took a seat at the table, "A lot of 'em know me real well, an' they all saw me walkin' around town after I came outta here from the three day grace period of waitin' for you to come back. It wasn't hard to guess what was botherin' me, seein' the state I was in."

"Shit,” Sam dropped his head, feeling guilty, "Sorry for askin'.”

"It's fine," Dean reached out, taking his brother's hands, "I didn't tell 'em much, just... They know that we got serious an' you left. That's it. They been waitin' for you as much as I have, buncha foolish old romantics," He smiled weakly, "They all sorta took me in, really, I stopped usin' the cards, started runnin' outta cash to pay to stay. They offered, but I didn't take any of 'em up. Motel manager came by a few times, askin' for pay an' I didn't have any. Jerry started payin' behind my back, then Warren an' Jesup an' Lily... Started fightin' over it. This motel room is paid out for the month because those stubborn jackasses."

Sam squeezed Dean's hand as he smiled warmly, "Seem like good people.”

"They are, real good people," Dean smiled, "I kinda got involved with the lot of them. They're real tightly knit together, like a family."

Sam nodded as he listened to Dean, realizing that his stomach growled, "So when's the pizza gonna get here?” He asked, leaning back a little and patting his belly.

Dean looked up at the headlights in their window, "If he drove above fifty, I'm rippin' him a new one," He said, standing up and walking to the door.

Sam sat still, not sure if he should get up and join Dean, anxious almost more than anything.

Dean opened the door, "How fast did you drive here, old man?" He paused, "I told you not to go above fifty, I don't wanna hafta fix her up again. I'm serious," He reached in his back pocket, pulling out the wallet but stopped. "Jerry, I can pay," He stopped and stilled, "I mean it though, I can. Oh, this?" He pulled his right arm out to his front, "Ain't it purrty? Yeah, he stitched me up good."

Sam laughed a little, watching Dean's silly banter with the old man.

"Not before I made it worse, see those tears? That was me, bein'a jackass," There was a loud thwap from the door and Dean responded, "Ow, ey, easy now, no need to get all violent. It's from the Mustang, yeah, she tore me a new one when I was comin' outta her... He's in there, stop tryin'a peek old man, what if he's naked? Well, no. But he could be, still."

Sam stood up as he thought ' _what the hell_ '. He walked over behind Dean, towering above him just a bit as he placed one hand on his brother's shoulder and offered his other hand to the old man, "Nice to meet you, I'm Sam,” he nodded.

Dean sighed and stood back, glaring up at his brother, "Yeah, this is Sam."

The older man was nearly a head shorter than Dean, with short strands of bright white hair covered by a blue baseball cap. He grinned his dentures up at Sam and reached out, taking the younger Winchester's hand in a shaky, but strong, firm grip, "Sam," He smiled, "Pleased to meet you," He glanced at Dean, "I thought you said he was naked."

Dean shrugged, "I said he **might** be, don't tell me you got your hopes up, old man."

Sam nodded again pleasantly one more time before he pulled away from Dean, taking the pizza from his hands, bringing it into the kitchen to sit it down. He sat at the counter and waited for his brother before he got a piece, it just seemed rude to dig in without him.

Dean smiled at Jerry and shrugged, "Told you, he's huge." Sam could hear the older man say something to the tune of 'and he's not on top?' to which Dean responded, "That's the third time, Jerry. I mean it, I'm tellin' Eileen that you won't stop pryin'."

He stepped back from the door, "I'll see you at work tomorrow. Cuz you're bringin' her in, I needa make sure you didn't break somethin'."

Sam kind of smiled shyly to himself, wondering what all _exactly_ Dean had told him. His stomach growled again with the aroma of the pizza tempting him, how long was he in the hospital anyways? _Probably no more than a few days, right?_ His attention was directed towards Dean when he walked in the kitchen.

"Funny old man,” Sam had noted, head gesturing to the door. He figured it wouldn't hurt to ask, "Hey, Dean?...How long exactly was I _gone_?” he breathed, not sure if he wanted to know the answer.

Dean narrowed his brows, "You don't know...?"

Sam shook his head 'no' as he looked down nervously.

The older Winchester moved forward, to Sam's bed and the sheets, looking away from his brother, "Where were you?"

"The hospital, Dean,” Sam muttered, "Now how long was I gone?” His voice cracked a little bit.

Dean looked at Sam, swallowing, "You've been gone for four months."

Sam stood up immediately, his back brushing into the wall behind him. He stared at Dean skeptically, feeling his stomach nearly bottom out, "I was in a coma... For _four_ months?” His eyes started to water all over again when he realized that he had left his brother, all alone, for _four_ months. **FOUR** damn months, he thought that Sam didn't want him.

Dean reached down, brushing the dust from a part of the sheets before he moved to his brother, reaching up nervously and taking his hands, "Hey, hey, calm down, Sammy," He said, voice shaking slightly, eyes wide, "Calm down."

"Did Cass not tell you?” Sam questioned, searching Dean's face for the answer.

The older Winchester looked confused, "Cass?" He shook his head, "No, I haven't talked to Cass in ages. I told him though, in the three days I stayed in here, I told him that I gave up, that I didn't want to anymore. And if he respected me, he'd leave me to my misery. I guess he did."

"Three days? That's _all_ it took?” Sam whispered, wanting to be hurt by the sentiment, but he couldn't.

"All **what** took?" Dean asked in confusion.

"Just to give up on me?” The younger Winchester stammered, afraid to meet Dean's gaze.

"I gave up on huntin' - not you, jackass," Dean responded, "I gave up on huntin' at once, because of what that **thing** did to you. But I started starvin', so I went out an' got somethin' to eat, started wonderin' the streets, lookin' for you. I been doin' it ever since. I didn't _stop_. At all. I worked, came home, walked, worked, came home, walked; every day. I stayed in this town, waitin' for you."

Sam nodded as he took in Dean's words, slightly more relieved. His stomach growled so loud that Dean could hear it this time, he shook his head in disbelief, "No wonder I'm so hungry, haven't had real food in four months,” he muttered as he sat back down and opened the pizza box.

Dean sat down as well, reaching out suddenly and taking his brother's left hand in both of his own.

The unexpected affection caught Sam off guard and he looked back up at Dean, "Everything okay?” he questioned.

"Just needed to touch you a bit," Dean said, dropping his hand away and turning to his own pizza box, "That's all."

"It's nice,” Sam noted before they both dug into the pizza. He was pretty sure he had the whole thing tucked away before Dean even got half of his down.

Dean stood once he'd polished off his fourth slice and carried the boxes into the kitchen, "You want a beer or somethin'?"

"Please,” Sam grunted as he stood too, walking into the bedroom. He grabbed the TV remote and laid down on the bed easy, flipping the screen on as he waited for Dean.

The older Winchester walked in, popping the caps off and handing one over to his brother as he sipped his own, sitting on the edge of the bed. In the four months he'd been here he hadn't touched the remote, and the first thing that played was the familiar moaning sounds of Casa Erotica.

Sam turned the channel at once, throwing a quick 'I'm sorry' glance Dean's way, he definitely hadn't forgotten about it. He took a few swigs before he looked at his brother and chuckled, "I think there's only one perfect way to end this evening,” a cheesy grin spread rampant across his face.

Dean raised his brows, "Hmm?"

"Not to sound like a complete homo but, I wouldn't mind cuddling a little, or is that too much?” Sam asked, being completely serious.

Dean looked down and kicked off his shoes and socks, moving up to sit beside his brother nervously. He stared at his legs before pulling them up onto the bed as well. And if Sam had called himself a homo, Dean wasn't sure exactly what _he_ was as he tucked his face against his brother's neck and curled close to his chest. After four months of being fucking terrified that he'd lost his brother forever, he relaxed slightly.

Sam wrapped his arms around Dean as he kissed the top of his head, he held him tightly, afraid he'd pull away at any moment. He breathed into his brother's hair, "I missed you.”

Dean pulled back, touching Sam's cheek, his hand shaking as he leaned in and pressed their lips together. He wasn't ready for more yet, but this was something he wanted. His mouth opened invitingly.

Sam sighed into Dean's mouth, melting into him, their tongues massaging one another. He knew he didn't want more, so he wouldn't push, this was a perfect _beginning_ anyways, just to be with him, like this.

The older Winchester broke the kiss, staring Sam in the eyes as he breathed nervously and pressed his face back against his brother's neck. "Sorry," He said, body shaking slightly, "I don't mean to cock block you."

"I think I'll be okay,” Sam chuckled, kissing Dean's forehead, "I'm _not_ the man whore of the family,” he joked.

Dean laughed nervously, "How ironic is it that we swap places, now that we're together?" He took a breath, "Did you wanna stay in tomorrow, or come with me to the shop?"

"If It's all the same to you, I'd _love_ to tag along,” Sam replied, smiling into his hair as he wrapped his arms back around Dean again.

"Don't matter to me," Dean admitted, "If it's all the same to _you_ , I'm kinda afraid of lettin' you out of my sight for two seconds, let alone twelve hours."

"I'm not going anywhere that you aren't, I promise,” Sam whispered, "What time you gotta be in the shop?”

"Ten," Dean said at once, "We should probably settle in for the night. I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted. I just got back from a twelve hour shift, an' then all this happened. It's nearly midnight."

"Yeah,” Sam agreed, kissing his head again. He'd just let Dean fall asleep and hold him for as long as he could, not telling him that he was afraid to go to sleep, afraid that he'd miss another four months of his life.

Dean shifted off the bed, pulling the worn shirt from his chest and shucking out of his pants as he winced at his arm.

Sam just watched, not even acknowledging his own shirt, hoping Dean would ignore it so that he could save the show and tell with his new scars for another day, Dean didn't need to know certain things about the accident right now anyway, he held his arms out, waiting for Dean to come back.

Dean pulled the covers from under his brother, bringing them up over him and Sam as he settled in against his chest, "Your shirt?" He asked, raising his brows.

"Uh, no, I'm good,” Sam stammered nervously. _Way to not be completely obvious. you dumb shit._

Dean narrowed his brows and sat up, "What's wrong?" The past four months of insecurities reeling to life.

Sam propped himself up on his elbows, "Listen,” he looked at his brother hesitantly, "I withheld a few small things about the accident,” he sighed nervously, keeping his eyes on Dean.

"Scars?" Dean asked and then motioned to his arm, "I'm not exactly new to them, or old..."

"No, Dean, there's more to it than that,” The younger Winchester paused, not wanting to tell him what really happened.

Dean frowned, "Well... What is it?"

"Well, uh, when the car hit me,” Sam paused, "It hit me so hard that it caused all sorts of internal bleeding... It ruptured my gallbladder,” he looked down.

"It went downhill pretty quick from there, shit went septic and they had to cut a large portion of my large intestine out,” he sighed, "But the bleeding on the brain was probably the worst, they told me I died on the table 3 times,” he looked back up at Dean.

"They told me I was unconscious for most of it in the beginning, you know, the surgeries and stuff, but anytime I spoke... I asked for you. I guess they eventually put me in a medically induced coma,” he breathed.

Dean stared at his brother, eyes widening and he swallowed sickly, speaking slow and careful after that, "Guess I know why I felt like I was dyin'..."

Sam leaned up and lifted his shirt, exposing his array of new scars to Dean, letting him see how badly his body was marked up. He looked away, embarrassed.

Dean reached out, smoothing his fingers over them as he nodded, and then reached up, pulling Sam's shirt off completely and curling into his brother's arms, laying his head on Sam's chest as he traced the scars with his index finger.

When Sam spoke, he spoke as if he was talking to himself, "Most people have _memories_ as reminders of their fuck ups, and I have this,” he paused, gesturing to his body, "Reminding me everyday, when I look into the mirror, that this happened because I ran from _you_ , the one person who wanted to love me.” Sam started sniffling, not realizing that a few tears had streaked his cheeks.

"And I have it, to remind me that I still have you, to remind me you're still alive," Dean responded at once, kissing the scar closest to his lips.

Sam's eyes closed from the sensation and he spoke again before he could bite his tongue, "I love you, Dean,” he breathed out.

"I love you too," The older Winchester said, moving up to Sam's face and kissing his jaw, "Don't think about the mistakes that brought us here, just be grateful neither of us died... _Permanently_ , along the way."

Sam nodded as he leaned his forehead into Dean's, "We should get some sleep if you plan on showin' me off tomorrow,” he smirked lightheartedly.

"Guess the shop'll be busy," Dean grinned wide, "Once it starts spreadin' around that you're back, people will be stayin' there all day. An' I get to show 'em my gorgeous, giant boyfriend," He paused at the word as it came out and he raised his brows in surprise.

Sam beamed, the biggest goofiest smile spread from ear to ear, "Say that again?” he requested, it sounded _damn_ good.

"My boyfriend," Dean repeated, glancing up at Sam and smiling sheepishly, which was an entirely new look to him.

"I like that,” The younger Winchester mumbled as he leaned in and gave Dean a short, sweet kiss, "A lot.”

Dean smirked and kissed him back. He turned and shut the light off as he settled down with his brother, wrapping his arm over Sam's waist.

Sam folded his brother up in his embrace as he nuzzled his nose to Dean's, "G'night, Jerk,” he sighed.

Dean chuckled, "Night, bitch," He added, slightly lower, voice full of stinging fondness.


	4. Chapter 4

Dean's internal clock woke him up just before six the next morning. He normally rolled out of bed at once and went about his usual day, coffee and a snack before walking, and was about to do so when he felt the strong, warm arms wrapped around him. His eyes snapped open and he looked up to Sam's face in surprise.

"Not goin' anywhere,” Sam mumbled sleepily, voice rough with it as he held Dean close, arms tightening around him.

Dean raised his brows and leaned into the embrace even more, kissing his brother's bare chest and closing his eyes, "Thought that was a dream."

"M'here,” Sam whispered, tightening his grip on Dean as he kissed his head.

The older Winchester grinned, "Yeah, you are," He said, shifting and climbing out of bed, "You want some coffee?"

Sam nodded lazily as he pulled the covers up further, "Do we _have_ to go today?” He asked, not unlike a kid who wanted to stay home from school. He couldn't help it, considering it was the first real restful sleep Sam had gotten in months, and now he was clinging to it.

Dean wandered into the kitchen, "Sam, I got work to do, you have to understan' this," He said as he filled the decanter and put it back in the coffee maker, grabbing the filters and folgers mix, "I can't just skip out on work, they depend on me."

"I know, I know,” Sam grunted as he threw the covers off and rolled out of bed. He wondered into the kitchen and walked up behind Dean, snaking his arms around his brother's stomach, "Just wanted to keep you to myself today,” he chuckled, kissing along Dean's neck before letting him go.

"Mmm," The shorter man turned back once he finished starting the coffee maker and wrapped his arms atop his brother's shoulders, "You don't have to take your hands off me, Sam. They been around me all night."

"Might look a little odd if I can't keep them off of you in the shop,” Sam smirked, raising his brows.

"They won't mind," Dean said, grinning, "Warren might insist."

"Don't tell me that,” Sam paused, eyes darkening as he settled his large palms on Dean's waist, "I might be tempted to give 'em a show or something,” He chuckled, kissing Dean's nose lightly, thumbs pressing into his brother's hips.

Dean stared up at Sam, suddenly becoming serious as his hands tangled in the back of his brother's hair, just a whisper above the nape of Sam's neck, "I've... Missed you so much, Sammy."

"Missed you too,” The taller man replied at once, eyebrows narrowing as his chest constricted and he leaned his forehead to Dean's as he pulled him closer.

Dean arched his neck back, pressing his lips to Sam's, it was intended to be a light, simple peck - but the tingles running over his body made him move in more, tilting his head and lifting up onto his toes a bit. He didn't want to get carried away, or lost in the moment, he knew they needed time, but goddamn - it was like he was burning all over, needing his brother to be closer, to be more.

Sam automatically brought a hand up to Dean's jaw as he returned the kiss, his lips lingering just over his brother's as he tried to keep himself calm. He knew that Dean didn't want to go too far, and it was practically hurting to restrain himself.

"Sam," Dean whispered, breath heavy and shaking as he leaned in again, as he gave in a little, hands clasping the solid muscles of his brother's shoulders - all but yanking Sam down to him for better purchase.

"Mmm?” The younger Winchester mumbled, letting Dean guide his body. He wasn't sure where this was going, but he didn't want to stop for a second.

Dean shifted against him, face flushing as he moved backwards, his own back pressing against the counter as he brought Sam with him.

Sam placed his hands on the counter on both sides of Dean, trapping him between his arms. He dropped his face down to his brother's, capturing his lips again, more fervently this time, with more need. He'd wanted this for so long, to be like this with Dean, both as men, both getting completely lost in one another for once.

The older Winchester responded almost immediately, breathing sharper as he ran his hands over Sam's shoulders and the solid expanse of his chest. Dean was only wearing his tight black undershorts, and it was _clearly obvious_ just how excited he was becoming.

Sam raised a hand and placed it on Dean's neck, holding him still as the taller man pulled away a little bit, "If we don't stop, Dean, I-” He trailed off, leaning back in and kissing him again.

"You what?" Dean breathed heavy against Sam's lips, the outline of his cock pressing into his brother's thigh.

"I may not be able to help myself,” Sam groaned slightly against Dean, tugging a little on his shorts for reference.

Dean shifted, grinding their hips together, he was a bit fuzzed over, almost drunk with lust and desire, breathing heavy as he responded, "It don't gotta be sex, we... We can just get each other off," He said, moving to kiss his brother's chin and neck, "I mean, why's it gotta be more'n'at right now?"

Sam sighed in delight from the kisses Dean placed on him, "I'm not even sure you're ready for **that** ,” he paused, referring to 'getting off', "I just... after _everything_... I don't want to go **too** fast with you,” he thought aloud, kissing Dean's cheek.

The older Winchester pulled back, pushing Sam away slightly, "Is it... Because I'm a guy? You said you weren't... _Use to the idea_. It's a problem?"

"No! It's not that,” Sam said at once and paused, trying to think of how to word it without stirring Dean up, "It's just that you said you weren't ready to be _intimate_ with me.”

He leaned back towards Dean, "Call me a 'puss' but, to me, gettin' off with you **would** be intimate.”

Dean nodded and turned away, reaching along the counter and grabbing a couple of his mugs, pulling the creamer and sugar over as he set about making his own coffee, keeping his head down as he calmed himself back into normalcy.

Sam pressed up against him and breathed into his ear, "Is it so wrong of me to want to abide your wishes?”

"It's not," Dean said, moving to the refrigerator and pulling out an ice tray, "It's... I don't know how to explain it, Sam. I'm flip-floppin' all over the place, I just... Some times I breathe you in an'... An' I can't think straight," His eyes looked his brother over hungrily, "It's hard. After I've had you once. Even if it was months ago - and you were a woman."

Sam smiled playfully and dropped his head a little. He walked over to Dean, grabbing his hand, he placed it on his dick to show him just _how_ much he wanted him in return, "Trust me, the feeling is mutual,” he paused, pulling Dean's hand off of him, "But not until you're a hundred percent ready, I don't wanna fuck this up.”

Dean's heart stammered, eyes widening and he nodded, "Yeah, okay," He said, smiling slightly.

"You're right," He agreed finally, moving to Sam and placing his free hand on his brother's chest, over his heart, "We'll wait, I know. I just... You know me. I'm as impatient as a fox in a hen house."

"If it's any consolation, it's not easy turning you down,” Sam chuckled, placing both hands on Dean's cheeks before he leaned in and gave him a quick kiss.

Dean grinned and kissed back, pulling away and sipping from his mug, "You gonna get your coffee, or let it get cold?"

Sam walked to the counter to pour himself a cup, "Your fault, distractin' me and all,” he mumbled under his breath, smirking at Dean.

"Your fault, bein' distractin'," Dean said, moving to his brother and kissing Sam's shoulder blade, "So I got about three an' a half hours before work. You have anythin' in mind? 'Side for breakfast."

"Aside from the from the more fun extracurricular activities, I got nothin',” Sam said, smiling back at him.

Dean chuckled, pulling a few frozen waffles out of the freezer and popping them into his toaster as he leaned against the counter, "Well, I normally walk," He admitted, shrugging.

"You?” The younger Winchester paused, looking at him - almost shocked into silence, "You've been walking?”

Dean nodded, "Yeah, it started as lookin' for you. An' when I stopped huntin'... I figured I should walk. Before I start gettin' fat. It's... Different. You don't think about how much energy we waste walkin' around through crime scenes an' savin' people, fightin' ghosts, killin' demons. I needed to do somethin'. Had too much energy to spare."

"Now if we could just work on your eating habits."

"I do fine eatin'," Dean glared as the waffles popped up and he turned, grabbing one and biting into it dry, "You want somethin'? I got eggs an' broccoli an' bacon, if you want like an omelette or somethin'. Also got onions an' ham."

"Nah, I'm good,” Sam paused, rubbing his stomach, "Still full from the pizza last night.”

"Yeah, well you ate all twelve pieces, I was beginnin' to worry," Dean grinned, "I'll probably have the rest of mine for dinner," He polished off his waffles and coffee, unplugging the coffee maker and moved back into the bedroom of the motel, "So, walk?" He offered.

Sam took a few more quick sips of his coffee, "Sure, let's go,” he followed Dean, picking up his shirt and sliding his boots on.

Dean reached into his duffel-bag in the corner, pilfering through and pulling on his loose walking pants and the white muscle shirt as he reached to the table, pocketing his wallet and grabbing the keys before rolling on socks and stepping into his sneakers.

"Ready?" He asked, looking at his brother.

Sam looked at Dean and stifled a chuckle as he observed how cute his brother looked, all dressed up sporty, "Sure.”

"What?" The older Winchester asked, looking down at himself and shrugging, "You... Gain things over time."

He moved to Sam, touching his waist as he leaned up and pressed their lips together for a short, chaste kiss before he pulled back and walked to the door, holding it open.

Sam followed, "I'm just not used to seeing you in anything other than your jeans or birthday suit, I guess,” He mumbled as he closed the door behind him.

Dean laughed, locking up and pocketing his keys, "Yeah well, most people around here know me better in these," He said, waggling his brows as he started off to their left, "I don't actually have to look around or keep my eyes out for you," He said, looking over his brother's body.

"Where all we walkin' to?” Sam asked, actually falling behind a bit. Apparently Dean **had** been walking and wasn't all talk, Sam had always been a faster walker, and now his brother was one-upping him.

The older Winchester shrugged, "I normally just explore roads an' back alleys, seein' what things're around. You find a lot of really good stores an' dine-ins that way. Though... I've gotten lost a few times."

"Dean Winchester, lost?” Sam huffed playfully.

"It happens," Dean looked back at him, "Pick up your feet, Sasquatch. Come on, I'm like three inches shorter'n you."

"To be fair, I've been out of commission,” Sam paused, working his legs a bit harder, "Surprised muscle atrophy didn't set in for as long as I was out.”

The older Winchester nodded, "Yeah, I was thinkin' about that when you said you'd been in a hospital. But they weren't really starvin' you, an' you're built enough but you don't really work out regularly. An'... I was thinkin' about your... Your scratches an' bruises..."

"Does it bother you?” Sam asked softly, "The scars and stuff?” He looked down, unreasonably embarrassed.

"No, not at all," Dean said at once, staring at Sam with widening eyes, "Lookit us, I mean, it may not all be physical, but we're both scarred beyond recognition. I just keep thinkin' of you on that bed... For four months."

"Don't worry about it,” Sam paused, "Cass was there when I woke up to make sure he ripped me a new one,” He laughed under his breath, remembering what Castiel had said to him.

"He said what?" Dean asked, narrowing his brows, "It wasn't your fault, you were in a coma."

"I guess you could sort of say he helped me _see the light_ ,” The younger Winchester chuckled, making weak quotation marks with his fingers as he slowed slightly, "It's nothing.”

Dean nodded slowly, "Alright, so you got like... Hospital bills now?"

"Bills would be an understatement,” Sam looked at Dean, "I'll be dead before I finish paying 'em all off.”

"We'll figure it out," Dean reached over, taking Sam's hand. Though he was supporting his brother, he felt his jaw tightening in concern, "I'll see if I can't help you."

Sam smiled at him, then looked at their hands, "Wouldn't hurt to see if I could find a job as a busboy or somethin' somewhere,” he suggested.

The older Winchester grinned, "I may or may not know a few people that could use a good arm that can lift heavy things."

"As long as I don't have to touch a vehicle,” Sam chuckled, then grimaced, thinking about the last time he'd tried fixing anything on a car, remembering when Dean had tried to teach him how to fix the Impala before he'd been taken to hell.

"Well, Jimmy's always got somethin' broke over there, or somethin' that needs fixin' up, or boxes to be moved," Dean shrugged, thinking out loud, "The towns full of odd jobs with the older people, some just want company, or you to water their flowers each mornin'. I do a few things every now an' then, but I got an actual job. It keeps me busy. They'd like someone..." He looks over Sam, "Like you."

"Like me?"

"Tall," Dean said at once, motioning to Sam's body and then his arms, "Strong. Also, bein' kind by nature don't really hurt."

It never mattered in what type of context Dean complimented him, Sam could never help smiling like a damn goofball and feeling butterflies fluttering in his stomach. "So you'll put in a good word for me?” He asked.

"I'll get a list," The older Winchester responded, "Eileen's got a few thin's she wanted me to lookit, an' the woman across from the motel needs all her stuff on her top shelf moved down so she can reach 'em. I'm tellin' you, these people just need an easy hand. They don't expect much," He squeezed Sam's fingers, "I think I'm the youngest person I've seen, 'sides for you."

"Good. No competition for me then,” Sam muttered under his breath, a blush spreading like fire to his ears.

Dean raised a brow, "You've never **had** competition, Sam."

"Mhm,” the taller man mumbled, looking away.

Dean stopped walking, pulling Sam's hand to turn him around so they were face to face, "Hey, don't you avoid lookin' at me when I'm talkin' to you. What makes you think anyone would even hold a flame to you, for me? What?"

Sam squeezed his hand, "It's fine, just calm down,” He smiled.

"I'm calm," Dean said, letting go and crossing his arms over his sweat-soaked chest, "So what is it?"

"Nothin', Dean,” Sam scoffed, "Have you really looked at yourself?” He questioned, checking Dean over, "I mean it's really no wonder women practically throw themselves at you any time we hit a new town.”

Dean narrowed his brows, "Sam..." He swallowed, yanking his brother close and pulling him down into a kiss, "Sure, I look good, but have you seen **yourself**? I mean... Goddammit, Sammy. If you had half my attitude towards sex, I'd have to hide you to get anyone to notice me. It don't matter though, 'cause there's only one person I like noticin' me. 'Rest don't matter."

Sam kissed him back nipping at Dean's bottom lip before pulling away, "Are you trying to tell me you haven't so much as laid eyes on anything with a set of tits since I been gone?” He asked playfully, remembering all the times he was sure Dean was trying to make him jealous, picking up women in bars.

"That's exactly what I'm sayin'," Dean responded, staring up at his brother, "None of them come quite in your shape."

Sam pulled away and started posing silly, yet provocative, "So you have a thing for the tall, strong type?”

"I have a thing for the Sam Winchester type," Dean said, laughing, "Whether he's a guy... Or a girl. Don't make a difference to me. As long as you're yourself."

Sam tilted his head and smiled slightly, unable to stop himself, "You've changed. Not just a little, but like a lot, since I've been gone."

The older Winchester shrugged, "I guess I had a lot of time to myself, to think about what really mattered."

Sam kissed him on the top of his head before pulling away, gesturing down to Dean's watch, "How much longer we got?” He asked.

"Should probably start on back, I could use a shower before work."

"Me too,” Sam replied, smiling at the imagery before he looked down at himself and tugged on his sweaty shirt.

"Yeah, and I thought **I** sweat a lot," Dean turned, taking his brother's hand as they started back down the sidewalk.

They trekked silently all the way back and, after stepping into the hotel room, Sam slid his boots off and instinctively removed his damp shirt.

Dean watched, eyes running over his brother's skin, seeing the scars better now and he reached for the hem of his own shirt, pulling it off and tossing it at the foot of his bed as he removed his shoes and socks.

"Did you wanna get your's first?” Sam asked, nodding to the bathroom door.

The older Winchester raised his brows, "Sure, I guess," He said, pulling out his keys and wallet as he stripped down completely.

Sam's mouth opened slightly, feeling his dick give a sudden, interested throb, as he watched Dean strip. He couldn't get used to just how comfortable his brother was with being naked, it was an astounding difference between them.

"Don't use all the hot water,” He requested, making it sound more like a demand.

Dean paused, considering that, "Well... It normally runs out on me..."

"Then it looks like you're gonna have company,” Sam mumbled as he unbuttoned his pants, tentatively pulling them down, revealing just how _excited_ he was. There wasn't a point in trying to hide it, and he refrained from covering himself.

Dean nodded, turning and walking into the bathroom with his heartbeat climbing. He reached to the shower and turned it on, moving to set out a second towel.

Sam followed and stepped into the tub before Dean, wetting himself down at once, "Come on, get in,” He said, and he was suddenly eager, curious to see if it was possible for Dean to be any more attractive _wet_ , soaking under the spray from the shower-head.

Dean moved carefully, stepping into the tighter area and closing his eyes the second the warm water hit his face, pouring down his back and arms, relaxing his muscles and he sighed.

Sam had his answer at once, he practically had to put one hand on the wall to hold himself up. Naturally, he couldn't help but let his eyes wander, that was expected, but he couldn't stop himself from reaching out and letting his hand trace the way the water was going down Dean's back.

Dean stilled slightly, letting out a soft breath of approval.

The younger Winchester dropped his hand from the wall, bringing his bare body forward and pressing it up against Dean's back. He rested one hand on his brother's abdomen as he snaked the other around Dean's neck and jaw, pulling his face to the side so they could kiss.

"Sam," Dean panted before opening his mouth and kissing his brother back, breaths coming out fast and heated.

Sam kissed Dean forcefully, passion building up inside of him so quickly that he couldn't contain it any more, "I'd be lying if I said I didn't just want to take you right here, right now,” He breathed, letting go of Dean's jaw, "But I'll let you shower instead,” He smirked, grazing his teeth along the shorter man's shoulder.

Dean gasped, hardening painfully but he reached down with shaking fingers and grabbed the shampoo up, washing his hair and handing it over to Sam as he ignored the squirming in his stomach and chest. _Son of a fucking bitch,_ he was so hard, so turned-on - all at once - that he'd almost gotten whiplash.

Sam poured a quarter-sized amount of shampoo in his hand before lathering it in as Dean grabbed up the body wash, soaping his palms and scrubbing himself down as he frowned.

Dean narrowed his brows, the hot water was already starting to waver. This room was getting worse.

Sam had lathered his body as well, stepping into the cooling water, "Shit,” He yelped, "It's gettin' cold,” He stated, rinsing himself off quickly.

"Told you," Dean said, reaching down to scrub his calves, "It... **Is** a motel."

"I'm tellin' you man, we should look into that house,” Sam suggested, remembering Dean had ignored his statement about it last night.

Dean nodded, "I'll talk to the guys at the shop about it. Maybe Warren can help out."

"Speakin' of, we should probably hurry up,” Sam paused, "What is it? Like twenty 'til?” He asked, peeking his head out of the shower curtain to look at the clock on the wall.

"Somethin' like that," Dean washed off the rest of the way, careful of his arm as he reached out and shut the water off. He grabbed the towels, handing one over to Sam as he climbed out of the shower.

The older Winchester ran his towel over himself, through his hair, and tied it around his waist as he walked to his duffel-bag and began pulling out his work clothes, the usual torn jeans and a simple black shirt.

Sam pulled on a white v neck t-shirt, his jeans and his boots. He sat, hands in his lap as he waited for Dean to finish, "You about done, princess?” He smiled.

Dean glared over at him as he pulled on his watch and grabbed his wallet and keys, putting on the old, worn boots he was use to as he made for the door, "You're a princess," He responded as he locked up and climbed into the Impala.

Sam slid in beside him, "That really the best you got?” He remarked, "Must be gettin' too old to insult properly.”

Dean started the car, grinning as he turned the radio up a bit and pulled out of the motel, "Any I can think of sound... Repetitive."

"Alzheimer's must be kickin' in early,” Sam joked, smiling at him, "It's okay, I still love you, old man.”

"Well, thanks for the sympathy an' unconditional love," Dean responded as he drove down the street, as stores slowly began opening for the morning.

Sam watched out the passenger side window, taking in the scenery. He was pretty sure Dean had noticed his anxious fidgeting, he wasn't going to straight out tell him that he was nervous to meet the people that he got close with while Sam was otherwise preoccupied.

Dean drummed his thumbs on the steering wheel, grinning and pulling into the shop, one of the... He paused... _Seventeen cars...? Really?_ He put the Impala into park and shut her down, "What the hell?" He narrowed his brows, "Jimmy..."

Sam looked at his brother curiously, "What's wrong, what's goin' on?”

"He told people you were here," Dean turned to Sam, pursing his lips, "Them old bats can't keep their mouths shut half the time."

Sam's heart began beating rapidly, "Y-you know I'm not good with large groups of people,” He paused, looking at Dean with worried eyes.

Dean shrugged and climbed out, "Don't worry, most of 'em'll probably be asleep, playin' chess with each other, or talkin' about this one time in Vietnam... They just wanna **see** you."

Sam took a deep breath and exited the Impala, following closely behind Dean.

The older Winchester reached out and took Sam's hand, lacing their fingers together, "Don't worry so much, big guy. This might come in handy, I can start that list of odd jobs for you."

Sam looked down at their hands, smiling at how easy this was for Dean, "I can do this,” He muttered lowly.

"Yeah, you can, you've fought demons man, this is nothin'," Dean said, pushing open the front glass doors and walking in.

The room was fairly packed, not just with people that had driven in, but people that had walked over - though Dean was right, most of them were... Preoccupied with one thing or another.

Jimmy looked away from the counter and waved them over, grinning wide, "See? I told you he was a **giant**."

Dean glanced up at Sam and smirked as they made their way towards the older man.

"And he's the girl," Jimmy added, chuckling.

"Watch it there, you old bag," Dean responded out of reflex.

Sam lowered his head and smiled. _What the hell had Dean told them?_ He nodded at Jimmy, "Nice to see you again.”

Jimmy laughed and reached out a shaky hand to take Sam's large left paw, "Nice to see you too, finally, young man," He said, staring up at Sam.

The guy behind the counter shook his head, "He **is** tall, good lord."

"Giant," The woman beside him said, eyes wide, "This is your boyfriend, Dean? Honey, he's huge."

Dean smiled wider, "Yeah, he is."

"Oh come on you guys, I'm not _that_ big,” Sam countered playfully, looking down his body.

One of the women at the chess table huffed, "He could throw you over the shoulder, Deany, how's he the girl? I don't see it."

Dean looked at her, "He's not exactly _the girl_ , I never said that. You guys just keep assumin', 'cause I don't tell you."

Jimmy shook his head, "So he's the top, that's why you won't say?"

"Who has to be top or bottom? We both got the same equipment," Dean countered, raising his brows.

The man behind the desk laughed heartily, "I guess you have a point." He held out his hand to Sam, "I'm Warren Pierce."

Sam took his hand as a welcomed distraction, "I'm Sam, Dean's told me a little about you,” He stated, returning a friendly smile.

Warren grinned, he was a rather large man around the waist, but he had nothing on height with Sam, he had short, wiry black hair and round glasses that he looked under as he glanced Sam over, "Has he?"

Dean shrugged, "Yeah well, your my boss, so..."

The woman at the chess table stood and held out her hand as well, "I'm Eileen, dear."

"Pleased to meet you, Ma'am,” Sam smiled, taking her hand, "Quite a character you got for a husband,” He joked.

Eileen smiled wide, "He's... He's something."

Dean looked around, "Ya'll had enough of him now? Can I work?"

Warren laughed and nodded, "Sure, get to work, boy. That car's arriving in about an hour."

The older Winchester smiled, "Sir," He said, taking Sam's hand and pulling him into the back, into a side room that was empty - save a group of cars that were currently in for repair.

Sam followed Dean all too willingly, "So what should I do? Watch you play with your toys?” He chuckled.

"You can be under her with me," Dean said suggestively, "If you like."

"As long as I don't have to touch it.”

Dean grinned, "Nah, you don't have to _touch her_ if you don't want to, I won't make you," He moved close, leaning up and pressing his lips to Sam's.

Sam returned the kiss warily, looking around to see if anyone was watching, "It's not a **her** , Dean, it's just a car,” He snickered.

"Come on, I'll show her to you," The older Winchester grinned as he moved them through the garage, into a small portion of the back, "She's kinda naked though, so don't stare at her parts too much."

Sam shook his head and laughed. Despite picking on Dean for calling any car he liked a female, it was really one of the things Sam found endearing about him.

"I won't make any promises,” He replied.

Dean pulled Sam over to the frame of the Mustang, where the thick blue wool blanket was rolled out, halfway under the car and half not. There were obvious dried spots of blood left along it from when he'd cut his arm open and the tools were strewn about from his flail of panic to staunch the wound.

Sam instinctively reached for Dean's arm, inspecting it, "You should've at least went to the Hospital for a tetanus shot or something,” He observed in concern.

"You know how much that costs?" Dean shrugged, "I'm fine."

"You're preaching to the choir, Dean. What if you get an infection?” Sam looked at the car, "I mean, it's not exactly clean.”

"Well, I'll know if I get lockjaw, won't I?" Dean said, moving to the cloth, "Do you wanna make a visit to the clinic after work, will that ease your mind?"

"It would,” Sam nodded, standing with his arms crossing his chest.

"You comin' down?" Dean asked, looking back at his brother, motioning to the car.

Sam knelt down to the cloth beside Dean, eying the underneath warily.

Dean shifted under her, turning to his brother and smirking suggestively, "So, we got about an hour before the new Camaro arrives, after that we'll probably go back out front. It's... Not gonna be a very productive day. But I think Warren doesn't mind."

"A Camaro?” Sam asked, his interests definitely piqued, noticeably so.

Dean smirked and nodded, "Uh huh."

"What do you do on nonproductive days?”

"I fiddle," Dean shrugged, "Browse the car collection in the back. Talk to Jimmy about parts. Most of the time I was just tryin' to keep my mind away from worryin' about you, but uh... That clearly has to change."

Sam nodded, "Considerin' I'm right here with you,” He looked away, guiltily still thinking about the Camaro, "So uh, what year is the Camaro?” He asked, trying not to sound too interested, knowing he'd probably try to steal the thing if Dean said it was a '69.

"Sixty-nine," Dean said at once, grinning like a fool, "Man, I can't wait to get my hands on her."

"Who's it belong to?”

"Me," Dean said, waggling his brows, "I went out about a month ago, angry as a fuckin' bull, drove a straight line nearly through the state, an' stumbled on her. I talked to Warren about it an' he bought her off this sketchy guy but hey, it's a sixty-nine Camaro. He said if I fix this one up, sell it, I can use the money to start in on fixin' her back into shape."

Sam became noticeably more excited, scooting closer to Dean, "What're you gonna do with two cars?” He asked.

The older Winchester bit his lip and turned back to the guts of the car above him, "I didn't get her for me, Sam. I mean, I would've got her anyways, if not to fix an' sell or somethin'. Because no one with a goddamn brain would've let the opportunity pass. But I'm me, an' I... I guess I wanted somethin' to replace that hole you left... Somethin' to put my pain into, an' maybe give you... _In the end_."

Sam rolled his head to the side, looking at Dean and pretty much forgetting about the car, "I'm sorry,” was all he could mutter.

"It's okay, Sam," Dean said, swallowing tightly and ignoring the burn in his chest, "I've spent years bleedin' for you an' I got nothin' to show for it... I guess I wanted somethin' this time. 'Course I was beginnin' to think you'd never return. So, I guess then I'd just have sold it. Found another one to fix shortly afterwards."

"Well, you're not sellin' it now,” Sam remarked, coming off territorial.

"Course not," Dean turned to his brother, "Until I get her done, you can have the Impala. I don't drive much, just to work. An' I kinda work a lot."

"Well,” The younger Winchester paused, "I wouldn't mind trying to help you fix the Camaro,” he smiled genuinely, "I mean, of course on nights I have off, provided I can find some work soon.”

Dean nodded, "Well, the odd jobs'll keep you busy 'til I can find you somethin' more permanent."

"You do realize I'm capable of finding somethin' myself right?”

"You're so cute when you try to act all able n' shit," Dean responded, looking at his brother fondly.

"Such a jerk,” Sam muttered, punching him in the arm.

"Bitch," Dean shifted, turning his body and grabbing the back of his brother's neck, pressing their lips together.

One thing was for sure, Dean knew just what to do to melt Sam's frustrations away. He kissed back, tracing his tongue along his brother's lips, making the gesture highly inappropriate for the environment they were in. Sam could feel himself harden a bit, "Keep it up and I'll show 'em who the girl is,” he breathed into Dean's mouth.

Dean grinned, "Why Sammy, are you suggestin' what I think you are?" He asked, voice low and heavy as he nipped his brother's bottom lip.

"You know I am,” Sam growled, adjusting his pants.

"I didn't know you were such an exhibitionist," The older Winchester raised his brows teasingly.

Sam smiled in response, firmly placing his hand on Dean's dick, over his jeans as he squeezed, "Get back to work.”

"You are the worst tease in the goddamn world," Dean responded and turned back to the car above him, "So... Can we talk about... You bein' _a woman_?"

Sam grunted, raising a brow, "What about it?”

"Well, we never really had the chance to talk about it, with you wiggin' out an' tryin' to kill yourself an' all."

"Yeah,” Sam paused, "That curse had me feelin' all sorts of shit, sorry,” He apologized.

"It's alright, I looked into it," Dean said, "It was in the journal. I just... Was wonderin' if..." He flushed red to his ears suddenly.

"What?”

Dean looked at him nervously, "Well... It was good, really good, for me," He admitted, the flush shading more, "I was just wonderin'... If it was for you... Too."

"My god, Dean,” Sam swallowed loudly, looking away, still slightly embarrassed.

"Well you didn't exactly stay around for that tingly afterglow, did you?" Dean asked, narrowing his brows as his face got redder, "I had a whole after-play planned out, too."

That caught Sam's interest, "Oh, really?” He grinned, rolling back towards Dean.

"Well, yeah."

"Well you're not just gonna leave me hangin' there are you?” Sam all but whined, tugging on Dean's shirt.

"You want me... To talk _dirty_ ," Dean's brows rose, "About what I was gonna do to you after fuckin' you as a woman?"

"Um,” Sam paused, "I want to know, I do, but at the same time it's still a little hard for me to believe that I was actually a-” He trailed off, closing his eyes as he rubbed his face.

Dean nodded, "Me too, some times. But mostly she was... You were... So you. Same expressions, same walk, everythin'. It was hot. A different kinda hot than now, not _more_ , just different. Goddamn the things I wanted to do to that body..."

" _That_ body?” Sam eyed him curiously, "What's wrong with me now?”

"You don't have tits an' a pussy?" Dean suggested, his eyes moving over his brother's body, "Though... You do have a dick... An' I know a few good things about those too."

"So you'd prefer if I were a woman again?” Sam asked, keeping his gaze.

"I don't **prefer** nothin'," The older Winchester said at once, "I like you for who you are. You were born a guy, that's how I want you. I'm just sayin'. Ladies like me for a few... More ... Good reasons. Not just what I gave you. That was just a preview."

"Don't tempt me to go back an' get the damn statue,” Sam retorted, "Cause I'll do it.”

Dean raised his brows, "We could always tie you down after."

Sam was actually contemplating it seriously at this point, "Just promise me I won't have to turn every time we decide to have sex,” he smiled, "And that I'll get a taste of you as myself at some point.”

"I want you like this first, sure, an' more times after," Dean said, suddenly breathing heavier, "An'... If you want..."

"Want what?”

"I could do it," Dean said huskily, staring Sam in the eyes, " _Change_."

Sam propped himself up so quick in shock that he hit his head on the car, he grabbed his forehead as he grimaced, "Seriously?” He asked, eyes wide.

Dean chuckled, "Careful. An'... Yeah. I wouldn't mind you puttin' it in me." He said, grinning.

Sam's mind wandered, trying to visualize what Dean would look like as a female, instantly becoming hard. He pulled his hand from his head, looking at the blood that was already drying, "What time do you get off?” He asked with intention.

The older Winchester barked a laugh and shrugged, "First... You never told me how it was; how I felt in you."

"You're not gonna laugh right?”

Dean stopped and looked at his brother, "No. Honestly, I wanna know."

"Well,” Sam paused, trying to choose his words carefully, "It's not like we're use to... y'know... The sensation, as a female, you _feel_ more, it's stronger,” He licked his lips, "It's like nothing you've ever experienced, but everything you never knew you wanted.”

Dean licked his lips, "Huh..." He thought about it and nodded, "But it was good...?"

"You,” The younger Winchester glancing down at his own dick and swallowed, "Felt absolutely fuckin' amazing.”

Dean's eyes widened and he stiffened considerably, it was an ego boost, and he didn't get them often, especially from his brother. He swallowed, "Can't wait," He said, grinning nervously.

"Me neither,” Sam admitted, eying Dean's body hungrily.

"You're not gonna like me after though, for a bit," Dean said, suddenly turning back to the car above him, "It was... 'Bout one of the most terrifyin' things I've ever seen, or had to do."

"You're talking about the after effects right?” Sam asked, remembering exactly what he did and how fucking crazy he'd felt.

Dean nodded, "I was half afraid I'd end up breakin' your arm or somethin', bein' too forceful."

"Part of me was still in there, Dean,” Sam paused, "I mean, I know what I did was uncalled for but, I had some reason for doing it,” he admitted.

"I know," The older Winchester admitted, "I know you did. I heard you the next mornin'. I just... I guess I wish you thought better of me."

"That was my mistake,” Sam whispered, leaning over to kiss Dean on the cheek.

Dean turned into the action, closing his eyes, "It's okay, I don't blame you. Did make me feel pretty uh... I guess 'wrong' is the word... For the past four months. I didn't care if you came back an' just wanted to be my brother again. As long as you came back."

"I just thought you wouldn't want me,” Sam looked down at his body, "Like this... I'm sorry, sorry for doubting you.”

"I've been crazy over you for years, are you kiddin' me?" Dean turned back to the car again, "I mean... Half the women I been with, it... Hasn't exactly been normal. An' I shut my eyes an' stuff. Think of you."

Sam was trying to change the subject, not wanting to think about how badly he'd hurt his brother, "You get a break anytime today?” He asked.

"Warren might let me off, you hear those old bats?" Dean asked, noting the dulled laughter behind the far wall, "They'll probably have some kind of gatherin' outside, later. If you want. Free food."

"I'm not really _hungry_ , per say,” Sam mumbled, laying back to watch Dean.

"I mean dinner, bitch," Dean chuckled, "I just gotta receive the car, maybe a few parts are comin' in, but other'n 'at, nothin' special. We'll break at twelve an' see what Warren says."

"Unless you need me to do somethin', I'm gonna nod off for a few,” The younger Winchester said, laying his arms behind his head for support as he laid next to Dean.

Dean shrugged, "Alright, got about ten minutes 'til the car arrives though."

"Well, just yank my leg or somethin', I don't wanna miss it,” Sam closed his eyes. He was lightly snoring not even 3 minutes later.

The older Winchester raised a brow and shifted out from under the car, moving along the garage and clearing a space until his cellphone rang. He answered, talking as he lifted the gate to let the moving van back in a bit. It was loud enough, if it didn't wake his brother, Sam's loss.

Sam was startled awake, he looked to his side, noticing Dean wasn't there so he slid out from under the car. He sauntered over next to his brother, rubbing his eyes, "This it?” he asked, gesturing to the van, waiting impatiently to see it.

Dean nodded, grin wide enough to break his face, "Yeah it is," He said, moving to the back as the driver opened the back doors and began setting out the tracks. The older Winchester stared in awe at the car, definitely in better shape than the mustang, but worn with time, clearly.

Sam crossed his arms, looking the car over, he could've sworn that staring at the damn thing made him stiff. He looked at Dean excitedly, "Hurry up and get it outta there.”

"Hold on," Dean said, climbing up into the truck and sitting in the front seat, putting the Camaro into neutral and moving to the back of her, "You got her shoulders?" He asked as the driver walked up.

"Yeah, I got it," The guy responded, putting his hands under the front of the car.

Sam watched as Dean guided the car out of the van, his mouth almost dropping open in awe. Sam very seldom had any interests in cars, but this one, he was in love with it already. He walked over and traced his finger's along the edge of it, mumbling like a love struck fool, "She's beautiful,” He said before he could bite his tongue.

"Ain't she just?" Dean asked, grinning as he took the clipboard from the driver and moved to a small, worn counter as he began in on the paperwork, "Lucky I drive when I'm angry, I guess."

"Yeah, I'd say so,” Sam muttered, just looking the car over, not wanting to be more than 5 feet away from it.

"Thank you," Dean said, handing back the clipboard, "Drive safe, okay?" He turned to his brother, smiling wide, "She was... Mostly covered in saw grass, actually."

"She run?”

"She starts," Dean put his hands in his pockets as he glanced her over, "She don't move too well, but she **does** start."

"You gonna start her up or are you just gonna stand there?” Sam looked at Dean, smiling so big it hurt.

Dean grinned and shrugged, "You don't wanna?" He said, holding up the keys.

"C-could I?” Sam asked in disbelief, yet moving closer to grab the keys before Dean answered. He walked around and hesitated before opening the door, climbed in and looked up at Dean like a kid who got everything they wanted for Christmas, "You ready?”

Dean took to the passenger's seat and smiled, "Go ahead."

Sam stuck the keys in the ignition and turned, closing his eyes and smiling as she purred to life.

Dean listened carefully, paying attention to the sound, "Yeah, she starts good, definitely needs tweakin' though, lots of it."

Sam laid his hand on the dashboard, "You can fix her though, right?” He looked at Dean eagerly.

"Yeah, easy," Dean said, nodding, "Gotta finish the Mustang first though. Well... We could probably do this one when I'm not workin'."

Sam nodded in agreement, looking back at Dean, "I can't believe you don't wanna keep her for yourself,” He stated, almost offended.

"I got my baby," Dean said, motioning to the Impala with his head, "It's time you had your own."

Sam patted the dashboard, "Oh my god, Dean, thank you so much,” He choked, he leaned over to kiss Dean, practically devouring his lips.

Dean kissed him back, grinning and touching Sam's cheek and jaw.

The younger Winchester pulled away a little, stealing one more quick kiss before he turned the engine off and handed the keys to Dean, "Treat her good until she's ready for me," He said, stepping out of the car.

"You know I will," Dean responded, taking the keys and climbing back out as well. He locked the car up and moved back to the Mustang, "You uh... Gonna sleep more?"

"No, why?” Sam asked, "What're you gonna do now?”

"Well, work, maybe another hour, then we'll take a break, yeah? See if Warren'll let me off," The older Winchester shrugged.

"Sounds good, you need me to do anythin'?”

"Well, I normally work alone," Dean said, shrugging.

"Right,” Sam paused, "So, no one comes back here to check on you while you're working?” He asked, raising his brow.

"They use to," Dean shrugged, "Warren trusts me now though. After the uh... The angry bull thing..."

"And, what exactly **was** the angry bull thing?” Sam questioned.

Dean swallowed and moved out to the open garage door, "C'mere, I'll show you."

Sam followed, anxious to see what the hell he was talking about.

There was a patch of freshly dried cement along the side of the building and Dean moved to a spot, squatting down and hooking his finger through a short black line of cord that was lodged down, dried in the cement, "See this?"

"Uh yeah,” Sam looked at Dean, confused.

"That's my necklace," Dean said, the obvious fury on his face.

Sam paused, his fists clenching, "The one I gave you?”

"Yeah," Dean stood back up, "There were these guys out here, startin' it up. An' I got in the middle of it - wet cement an' all. They pinned me, took my necklace, an' held me down until it had dried."

"Who the fuck was it?” Sam growled, ready to fucking kill someone, "And why'd they do it?”

Dean shrugged, "A good few assholes. With friends. I only saw two at first. They were just drunk and bein' assholes, you know how some men get some times. They went through my wallet, didn't take my money though, just looked through, took off my boots... It's my fault. Second they touched the necklace..."

"I'll get you a new one,” Sam paused, cupping Dean's face in his hands, "It won't be the same but, I'll get you one,” He kissed his forehead.

"I sat here for nearly three hours before Warren came out an' saw me. It was the first time he'd left me alone to do somethin', cause he was real busy. I... I think I cried the entire time, tuggin' at the lace, curlin' it in my fingers..."

Sam wrapped his arms around Dean's neck, "I'm sorry,” He breathed.

Dean sighed and looked at the necklace, "I tried to explain it to Warren, but I was so pissed." He motioned to the window behind them, "I smashed my fist into that, got my keys an' just... _Drove_. Course I came back an' apologized after. Told Warren I'd pay him back an' get it fixed. I don't just vandalize an' run."

"Come on,” Sam tugged at his belt loops, trying to get his mind off of it, "You should get back to work,” He suggested warmly.

"I know," Dean said, moving back to the garage, "You asked."

"Was I **not** supposed to ask you? I mean, really."

Dean shrugged as he closed up the entrance again, "I'm just sayin'. You asked. I been... Ignoring it for a while. Every time I reach up to touch it I get so red I can't think."

"I'm sorry for bringin' it up then,” Sam grabbed his hand and squeezed.

"It's fine," Dean said, smiling and moving to kiss Sam on the lips, "I mean, you deserve to know, right? You gave it to me."

"For what it's worth, I'm glad you told me,” Sam kissed him back, then broke the kiss to tug him back over to the mustang.

Dean climbed under the car again, pilfering through his tools silently, "Wait," He tilted his head, "I know what was missin' now. My tunes."

Sam rolled his eyes, not considering the racket Dean listened to, to be **tunes**. "You got an iPod or somethin?” He asked, looking around.

"This car plays," Dean sat up, climbing into the front seat, "First thing I did was hook up the radio," He grinned.

"You would.”

Dean chuckled as the area filled with the chorus of 'Lonely Is the Night' and he moved back down, joining Sam's side.

"How much longer we got?”

"Thirty minutes," Dean responded, tapping his foot and lip-syncing.

Sam needed more physical contact with Dean or he thought he'd just fucking explode. He sat at his feet as he tinkered under the car, reaching over and caressing Dean's left calf idly.

Dean glanced down, but otherwise said nothing as he continued tinkering.

"You think Warren's gonna let you go?” Sam asked, trying to start conversation.

"Most likely," Dean grinned as he worked, "I mean... He's got plenty of company in there. Did you... Sleep... Last night?"

"Not much,” Sam admitted, "For the most part I just held on to you, watched you sleep.”

Dean frowned, "Sam," He responded sternly.

"I was asleep for four months, Dean,” The younger Winchester shrugged, "Can you really blame me?”

"Oh," Dean shrugged, "I guess you... Have a point."

"Besides, I missed you too much to sleep anyway,” Sam smiled warmly.

Dean grinned at that and scooted out from under the car, sitting up and looking at his brother, "You are distractin' me, sayin' sweet things like that," He said, smirking and leaning in to kiss Sam.

"Can't help it,” He chuckled, "You bring it outta me,” Sam stammered, kissing Dean back with more force.

Dean shifted onto his knees, sitting on Sam's right leg as he grabbed the back of his brother's neck, opening his mouth and turning his head to kiss deeper.

"Dean,” Sam groaned, instantly turned on by his aggression. He wrapped his arms around Dean, pulling him in closer, growling when his brother's leg brushed Sam's hardness.

The older Winchester leaned in, pressing their chests together as he tangled his fingers in the larger man's hair and moaned, crotch rocking against Sam's waist.

Sam put his hands on Dean's hips, stilling them, "Not here,” He breathed, "See if you can head out early?” He asked almost desperately.

"I think we can take lunch now," Dean agreed, shrugging, chest heaving as his eyes were dilated.

"How long you get?” Sam asked, greedily stealing kisses.

"An hour, unless Warren lets me off," Dean said, raising his brows.

Sam pushed Dean up off of him, standing up as well as he patted his ass, "Go talk to him,” he said, "You uh, might wanna wipe your bottom lip first,” pointing to it.

Dean frowned, "Huh?"

"I think I kissed you too hard,” Sam noted, reaching up to wipe Dean's lip with his thumb to show him the dribble of blood.

"Oh," Dean pulled his lip into his mouth, sucking it and wiping his chin.

Sam leaned in one more time, kissing Dean's busted lip lightly before pushing him towards the office, "Go.”

Dean gave Sam a backwards glance as he left, sticking his tongue out in a somewhat flirty manner.

Sam couldn't help but smile - when he wanted to, Dean could be downright irresistible. He walked over to the workbench, fiddling with different tools, waiting on his brother.


	5. Chapter 5

Nearly ten minutes later, the older Winchester came back in, moving to Sam and grabbing his waist, drawing him in and kissing him heatedly.

"I take it that it went well?” Sam panted in between kisses.

"Better than well, remember that house I mentioned?" Dean grinned, "The owner of it is in the other room."

"And?”

Dean held up a key, "Think we've got enough of these for a day?"

Sam smiled, leaning in to kiss Dean again, "People must really like you around here,” he teased. He couldn't explain how excited he was about everything that'd happened today. It was an unusual, pulling feeling. Probably the happiest Sam had been in years.

"It's my charisma, all my charm an' good looks, it hooks 'em in," Dean said, wrapping his arms around his brother's neck and drawing him down, "What say we take a look?"

"Let's get outta here."

Dean grinned wide and took his brother's hand, bringing him through the back door to avoid the crowd of people in the front room, "We'll walk?" He offered, "It's not far."

"Sounds good, my legs are a little stiff anyway,” Sam noted, walking closer and wrapping his left arm around Dean's back as they left.

The older Winchester leaned his head to his brother's chest as they walked and he chuckled, "It's... Odd... But I kinda feel like I walk like this with you all of the time."

"I've been meanin' to ask you,” Sam started, somewhat nervously, voice lowering as his breathing became a little heavier, "Does anyone know?”

Dean frowned at the tone of voice, eyes flicking over to look at his brother's face, "Know what? I think it's... Pretty obvious."

"No, do they know that we're...” Sam's voice dropped even more, impossibly light as he kept Dean close, "Brothers?"

"Of course not," The older Winchester said, eyes widening as he looked around quickly, "I mean... I would... I... What, do you **want** me to tell them? I mean, I can't imagine the look on their faces if they knew more."

"No,” Sam responded quickly, putting his hands up, "No, I like the way things are, let's just keep it this way.”

"I like it too," Dean said at once, "Complicates thin's less. An' we can just... Be ourselves, an' not have to worry about people judgin' us. Well," He smiled, "We're still a gay couple, but-" He shrugged.

"People seem awfully okay with that type of thing around here,” Sam observed aloud, finally, "Guess you picked a good town to settle down in,” He smiled at his brother, "We almost there yet?”

Dean pointed up to the large, sturdy, wooden fence beside them, "On the other side of here is it's yard." He moved to the front gate and unlocked it, "It's... A pretty big house."

"How many bedrooms?” Sam asked as he walked passed the fence and stared at the house in surprise.

"Four bedrooms, three an' a half bathrooms," Dean said, walking into the overgrown yard, "Livin' room, dinin' room, kitchen, basement, attic, lots of side rooms too."

"And it's fully furnished?”

"Fully," The older Winchester said, "But these thin's ware when you have a droppin' economy. The man I bought it from wasn't the original owner either, he'd looked into the eye-sore a few years back, an' has been tryin' to get rid of it."

"It's a start,” Sam observed optimistically.

Dean nodded and walked through the grass, making his way up the porch and unlocking the door.

Sam followed quietly, anxious to get inside as his brother pushed the door open and stepped into the house, looking around the large living room with widening eyes.

"Little musty,” Sam pointed out as he joined Dean in the main room.

"Yeah, a bit," The older Winchester chuckled, turning back to Sam, "Well, while your not doing odd jobs, you can dust," He suggested, "Just... Do it with wet rags, trust me."

Sam nodded as he walked over to the window, lifting it to let some fresh air in, "So when's your next day or so off?"

"Warren," Dean started, watching Sam, "He might've given me a few days off already, like, the next three. Maybe."

"Why?” Not that Sam wanted to complain. He looked at Dean with an 'I hope you know what you just got yourself into' type of smile.

"He told me he wouldn't take no for an answer," Dean laughed, "Said I needed to spend time with you. ' _What're you doin' at work anyways?_ ' he asked when I came out there."

Sam walked a little closer and tugged on his brother's shirt, "So, it's safe to say that you're mine for a few days?” He asked as he smirked.

"It's safe to say I'm yours for a couple hundred years," Dean confirmed, grinning, "But you have me for the next three full days, yes."

Sam smiled wide as he pressed his body into Dean's, forcing him back up against a wall so he could kiss him, it was heated, rough, but not enough to bust his lip back open.

Dean moaned into his brother's mouth, arching against him, quick breaths coming out as he reached up, grabbing the back of Sam's neck.

Sam clasped one side of Dean's hips, forcefully pulling them into his own, placing his spare hand on the wall behind the shorter man for leverage as he leaned in further, tracing his mouth along Dean's jawline and his neck, nipping softly.

The older Winchester let out a heavy, nervous breath as he lifted his leg, brushing along the inside of his brother's, "Sammy," He said, voice shaking.

"If it's too much, just tell me to stop,” Sam breathed in between the kisses he was placing on Dean's neck. He dropped his hand from the wall and grabbed the bottom of Dean's shirt with both hands, pulling it off of him.

Dean nodded, eyes hazy with lust as he ran a hand down his own chest and stomach, "Nothin's too much," He admitted.

Sam slouched a bit to place kisses on Dean's chest, teasing him by flicking his nipple with his tongue, then nipping at it softly with his teeth, "I've wanted you **all** day,” he moaned into his chest, voice muffled.

Dean shuddered and arched into the mouth, "Sammy," He said, looking down and watching his brother, "Goddammit. You an' me both."

Sam grabbed Dean's leg, pulling it up to hitch it on his hip as he grinded into him, his head falling back slightly from the sensation, even if it was through jeans at this point, he moaned.

The older Winchester gasped in surprise, but ground back against him, mouth moving to kiss and bite down his neck.

Sam stepped back quickly to pull his own shirt up over his head, leaning right back into Dean when he was done. He trailed his finger's down his brother's chest, tugging them underneath the top of his jeans, "W-want you,” he stammered.

"Want **you** ," Dean responded at once, "Though... Are... Are we still movin' too fast? This mornin' you thought just gettin' each other off was too much."

"Not being able to have you like this, after the first time we-” Sam paused, writhing against him, "It's killing me,” He breathed, "But...I promise I'll stop right now if it's what you want.”

"Goddammit, Sam, I'm practically on fire right now," Dean said as an almost violent tremor ran over his body, "I can hardly breathe - I want you so bad."

Sam kissed Dean one more time before he knelt in front of him, he unbuttoned his pants and slid them down a little, exposing Dean's hip bones. He traced one side with his tongue, placing kisses along the top of his fuzz to the other side where he bit down, roughly.

Dean dropped his head back and moaned loudly, legs shaking as his thumb ran over Sam's jaw, "Fuck," He breathed, eyes rolling back in his head.

Sam tugged his jeans down all the way, including Dean's undershorts, exposing him. He looked up at Dean as he ran his tongue down the length of his dick and brought one hand up, wrapping it around the base. Sam took him into his mouth, sucking and swirling his tongue around the tip for added pleasure.

Dean opened his eyes, looking down and watching his brother as his mouth fell slack and he stared, "Goddammit, Sammy," He said, combing his fingers through the younger Winchester's bangs, "F-f-fuck..."

Sam started using his free hand to work the shaft as he continually took Dean into his mouth, pumping harder and faster, occasionally moaning onto his dick when he'd deep throat him, wanting more than anything to taste his brother.

"Sammy, please," Dean licked his stinging lip and moaned, "I ain't gonna last long, you keep this up. I've never... It's been a..." He swallowed, "An' you haven't ever..."

Sam cupped Dean's balls firmly, moaning onto his dick but otherwise keeping quiet as he continued, he pressed himself down as far as he could go, hollowing his cheeks as he sucked and stayed for a second, looking up at the shorter man.

Dean writhed against the wall as their eyes met and he finally came, unable to stop himself, unable to warn his brother as he gasped and choked, it'd been... Far too long since he'd done anything to himself, touched himself, even thought of doing it.

Sam could taste the saltiness running down his throat as he swallowed willingly, he licked the head of Dean's dick again just for good measure before he stood up, wrapping both arms around Dean and nuzzling his face into the smaller man's neck, "I needed that,” he admitted, licking his lips.

" **You** needed that?" Dean sighed blissfully and hugged his brother, " _ **I**_ needed that, goddamn, Sammy," He said, grinning weakly. "It's been months, almost forgot what that felt like."

"What do you mean 'months'?” Sam questioned in disbelief, "You didn't even _touch_ yourself?”

Dean narrowed his brows, "I _couldn't_ ," He said, face flushing in embarrassment, "I couldn't even get it up, let alone try to get off."

"I know my leaving did a number on you, but come on,” Sam paused and frowned, "Tell me that's not why you couldn't get it up."

"That's why," Dean confirmed, "I was dry, completely. Didn't even wake up with mornin' surprises or nothin'. _Dry_."

"Shit,” Sam cursed himself, "Well, I'll see to it **personally** that you don't have that problem again,” He whispered, leaning in to give him a chaste kiss.

Dean chuckled and kissed back, "I don't mind. Even if I had, you really think I'd want to feel that way, without you? Starin' at the messy bed we'd last had sex in?"

"I don't know,” Sam shrugged, "Urges happen, I guess.”

"No, they don't," Dean pulled up his pants, "I stared at the bed for hours, all of the time, just... Rememberin' how you felt. Didn't get me even slightly hard."

"Good to know I don't get you hard,” Sam said playfully, yet hurt was apparent on his face as he picked his shirt up off the floor.

"It's not like that," The older Winchester nearly growled, "I got excited, for sure. That feelin' you get when you know you should be rock stiff 'n pantin'. Just... Didn't get _hard_."

"I understand. Now can we change the subject, I hate feeling like we argue over every little thing,” Sam smiled weakly, "Like an old married couple sometimes."

"Might just be one of those one day," Dean responded, grinning.

Sam felt his heart skip a beat, "What'd you just say?” He asked as his jaw dropped, though there was still the ghost of a smile playing his lips.

Dean looked at his brother, "I said we might just be... _One day_."

"That's what I thought you said,” Sam mumbled as he pulled on his shirt and walked over to sit on the dusty old couch.

Dean did the same and joined him, sitting down against Sam's side, "I mean it, though."

Sam nodded slowly and stared at him for a good five minutes before he spoke, " **No one** will marry us, Dean, not in this town,” He responded, shaking his head.

"I'm not a marryin' type," Dean said at once, "But a _life partner_? You're... That doesn't even cover it. But bein' recognized as together, for eternity, that's all that matters to me. I don't need a stupid paper or a ring to tell me that."

"You like being tied to me?” The younger Winchester asked sincerely, scooting closer.

"I do," Dean said softly, staring at him.

Sam smirked, a blush painting his face, "I don't think I tell you often enough just how much I love you, Dean,” He said, leaning in.

"I love you too," Dean responded, touching his brother's cheek as he pressed their lips together.

It was just a simple, short kiss, but one they needed, "So what do we do now?”

"I don't know, I got a few days off work," Dean grinned, "What do you wanna do with me?"

"I could think of a few things, you probably wouldn't be able to walk afterwards though,” Sam said without hesitating, waggling his brows at Dean.

Dean swallowed thickly, "I might not have a problem with that."

"You really wanna spend your three days off lettin' me fuck you silly?” Sam smiled, remembering how much he put himself out there just to get Dean to give in to him when he was a woman.

"Or vice versa, a bit of both," The older Winchester responded, "Maybe we get that little cursed object," He shrugged, "I dunno, I just want time with you. _Intimate_ time."

"Well, come on,” Sam said, grabbing his hand to pull him up, "Let's go get it, it's my turn.”

Dean stopped him though, "First," He said, standing, "We get it, but don't use it yet. First I want us... Like _this_. Both as men."

"You wanna?” Sam asked, nodding towards the steps that led upstairs.

It was like he couldn't help himself around Dean, he was always ready to go at a moments notice, "Wait...no,” He shook his head and looked at his brother, "Suppose we shouldn't try to plan this type of thing, right?”

Dean grabbed his brother's waist and pulled him in, "I don't care either way, your dick should be in my ass," He said, leaning up and biting Sam's bottom lip.

"Talkin' like that, you're gonna get me hard again,” Sam breathed, nervously, "Have you ever...um,” He trailed, almost afraid to ask.

"Ever 'umm' what?" Dean raised a brow, kissing along his brother's jaw.

"Been with another man, Dean?”

Dean shook his head, "I mean, I've done things with myself before..."

"Things like?” Sam paused, leaning his face closer to Dean's, "I'm just asking because I don't wanna hurt you,” He added, bringing his arms up around Dean's neck.

"I've done some pretty big things," Dean said suggestively.

"Then you think you can handle me?"

Dean swallowed and nodded, "I'd like to."

Sam took his brother's hand and led him upstairs to the first bedroom he saw, a wide on on the left side. Sam closed the door out of habit and he turned to look at Dean, holding his gaze as he pulled his pants down.

"How'd you want it?” He asked, stroking himself a little.

Dean moved in, smirking and pressing his lips to Sam's in a heated kiss, reaching down and pumping the length lazily as he knelt, dropping to his knees and taking his brother in his mouth.

Sam hissed a little, not expecting head from him. He laid a hand on his shoulder, semi-caressing his neck and jaw just for contact, "You know you don't... Have to... Do this,” He stammered almost all the way through the sentence.

Dean moaned around him before pulling back, "Are you kiddin', I been wantin' this for years," He admitted, taking Sam back in his mouth and working the length.

Sam threw an arm back, trying to catch the door behind him because, if he didn't, he was sure he'd fall over, it felt **too** good. "Dammit,” he growled, bringing his free hand up to fist in his own hair, "Dean, I can't,” he moaned, thrusting his hips a little into his mouth.

It surprised Dean when it happened, but he worked his head back to receive the thrusts, swirling his tongue over the tip and taking as much of the length in his mouth as he could.

Sam dropped his hand from his hair to Dean's, fisting it up tighter than he had his own as he thrust a little harder into his mouth, watching his every reaction, secretly wanting to see him _gag_.

Dean's hands moved to his brother's hips, trying to calm him down a bit, trying to keep up with the pace.

Sam moaned, "If we don't stop,” he paused, rolling his head back, "I'll come and,” his breathing hitched, "I won't be able to fuck you... for a while.”

Dean's body shuddered and he choked, forcing his brother's hips back and he took a breath, nodding, "Yeah, sorry. I know."

Sam roped his hand under Dean's jaw and pulled him back up to his feet, kissing him, tasting his own skin on his tongue.

The older Winchester kissed back vehemently, hands grabbing Sam's waist as he writhed against him.

Sam pressed into him, leading him to the bed when he could see it out of the corner of his eye, he pushed Dean back onto the mattress. He smiled at his brother before he crawled slowly between his legs, leaving slow wet kisses on his thigh, he pulled up to smile a little wider at Dean and tugged on him a few times before he dipped his head back down and ran his tongue from Dean's center, clear to his balls, preparing him.

Dean sat up on his elbows, staring down and gasping slightly. It was odd to have someone else back there, but it felt amazing, even better considering it was Sam doing it, and he was getting hard again just thinking of it. His eyes widened as he felt his brother's fingers pressing into him, spreading him open and he groaned in response.

Sam lazily pumped the fingers in and out of his brother, slickening his entrance and making way for himself. Finally, he held himself up with his hands pressing into the bed on both sides of Dean, he leaned in, "You ready?” He asked, tracing his nose along Dean's jaw.

"Been ready for this, Sammy," Dean said, shuddering and moaning, hands moving up to trail along his brother's neck and shoulders, shaking from his excitement as he bent his knees.

Sam leaned against him as he gently began pushing inside, replacing his fingers with his dick as he passed the first resisting muscle and stopped to kiss Dean quickly.

Dean responded at once, moaning into the short settle of his brother's lips as he took a deep, calming breath, staring into Sam's eyes as he nodded, "M'fine."

"Okay,” The Younger Winchester muttered lowly as he pushed the rest of the way in, his lips laying feather light on Dean's, he didn't stop to give the shorter man time because he had seemed to be handling it well. He'd began thrusting almost immediately, not fast but _slow_ , tantalizingly slow as he watched Dean's face and pulled one of his legs up, holding it to his hip so he could get a little deeper.

"Sammy," Dean breathed, closing his eyes as he received his brother, the willing muscles of his body nearly on edge with overwhelming pleasure as he dropped his head back and moaned.

"Move more, I'm... I'm not a porcelain doll. I'm your brother," He looked into Sam's eyes, "An' I want this, _more_."

That was all he had to say, Sam started thrusting faster, hard enough to make their skin smack loudly, "S'it feel good?” He asked, panting, lust in his eyes as he brought a hand up and cupped Dean's neck.

Dean choked through the movements, each thrust pushing up into him, "Real good," He said, body working with his brother's thrusts, hands grasping the sheets below him as he struggled to stay firm, "Better'n anythin'," He breathed.

Sam made sure he had his knees bit down firmly to the mattress as he wrapped his arms around Dean's lower back. He lifted him enough so that he could practically bounce his brother on his dick. The younger Winchester buried his face into Dean's chest as he moaned loudly, feeling the burn in his biceps and the tightening in his groin as he felt himself get closer with every thrust.

"Sam!" Dean sobbed, legs squeezing his brother's torso. His body shook with sharp tingles of both pleasure and pain, intoxicating him. He was falling to pieces in Sam's thick, strong arms. But as much pleasure as he felt, he kept his eyes on his brother, fingers tangling in Sam's hair and pulling, yanking hard as he shook, chokes still coming from his throat.

Sam felt himself getting close so he laid into him relentlessly, knowing that Dean would walk funny for a damn week after Sam was done with him. He squeezed at the shorter man's hip, using it to pull his tight ass down onto him greedily, feeling the build up, "I'm gonna come, Dean,” He growled lowly, almost sounding feral as he bit down on Dean's shoulder.

The older Winchester gasped, body shaking at his brother's words and he shook, "Please," He said, breath coming out sharp with each of Sam's harsh thrusts, "I want you to, Sammy, please."

Sam threw his head back as he thrust up into Dean a few more times, panting heavily, " **Fuck**!” He yelled, more than sure any surrounding neighbors had heard him as he came into Dean, his whole body practically convulsing beneath him.

Dean shuddered and writhed, feeling his brother fill him and he slumped back, legs shaking as he came undone, pearls of white dripping against his stomach and he was unable to hold himself up anymore.

Sam looked at Dean through heavy lids as he thought to himself, ' _who's the girl now?_ ' and chuckled quietly as he let his body crash as well. Sam was strong, but he'd never really lifted quite that much during sex, not saying Dean was big because he wasn't, more solid than anything.

He looked at him, panting, "I... Hope that was okay.”

Dean shook as he moved back, pulling Sam out of him as he dropped onto the sheets, grinning and panting, beads of sweat dripping along his forehead, "Yeah, it was _alright_ ," He joked, looking up at Sam.

Sam's head popped up off the bed, "What do you mean ' _alright_ '? I'm sure it's the best you've **ever** had,” He snorted. Not sure what was making him feel so cocky, but it felt nice for once, not being so insecure of his capabilities.

"Mmm, definitely in the top two, though the other one comes in close," Dean waggled his brows, "I'm guessin' there's _more_ where that came from?"

"You'd be surprised at what I'm capable of,” The younger Winchester smirked, licking his lips, "Next time we have sex though, **you'll** be a woman and I'll use my powers of persuasion to get you to ride me,” He chuckled, leaning closer to Dean.

Dean moaned aloud and turned to look at Sam, "Mm, I could be into that," He shifted, pressing his lips to his brother's, "Can't wait."

"Me neither. How far away was Dad's storage?”

"'Bout an hour," Dean shrugged, "If you wanna go now? We could grab lunch on the road."

"Sounds good,” Sam said as he smiled, dragging his nose along his brother's jaw line, "Just a moment, though, I'm still trying to catch my breath."

* * *

Dean, hands shaking nervously, set the broken, enchanted box down on the table back at the motel room and opened it, looking at the little female statue as his heart sped up. He raised a brow at the empty space where the male one was suppose to be. The worst part was that he **knew** where it was.

“You okay?” Sam asked, leaning up against the wall with his arms crossed. He could see the slight worry on his brother's face, “You don’t have to go through with it, if you don’t want to,” He offered.

“I want to,” Dean said, swallowing and looking at his brother, “I do.” He reached down and took the figure into his grip, pausing. “So… Uh… What now?”

“Well,” Sam looked down at Dean’s hands, “You won’t be a woman until you wake up, so... Also you’d be better off to get to sleep before the nausea sets in anyway.”

Dean’s eyes widened and he moved, rushing into the bathroom, to the toilet bowl, just as he emptied his stomach of the coke, burger and fries he’d had nearly forty-five minutes ago.

Sam walked into the bathroom as well and knelt down behind Dean to rub his back, “Unfortunate side effect,” He mumbled, remembering something else he should warn him about, “And there is just one more thing,” He paused, wishing he’d told him this before hand.

“Mmm?” Dean asked, heaving again.

“When you change back, into yourself, it hurts like a bitch, not to mention the dreams.”

The older Winchester sighed, “Well I guess everythin’ comes with a price.” He pulled back, wiping his mouth on his sleeve and closing his eyes as his stomach rolled sickly.

Sam stood as he patted Dean on the back, wondering what the female version of him would look like, “Don’t forget to brush your teeth,” He said as he walked out of the bathroom, “I’ll lay down with you when you’re ready.”

“Yeah, no kiddin’,” Dean said as he turned back to the toilet bowl, just dry-heaving now, spluttering and coughing as tears ran down his cheeks. _This better be worth it_.

“You shouldn’t have eaten so much,” Sam chuckled from the other room, “Don't you remember what I did to the Impala?”

“Yeah, I remember, I cleaned it up,” Dean said, finally standing and flushing the toilet, moving to the sink, washing his mouth with water first before brushing and using the Listerine he normally ignored.

Sam sat down on the bed, pulling his boots and shirt off. Afterwards, he reached up and fluffed the pillows while he waited for Dean.

Dean undressed slightly in the bathroom, leaving his shirt and tight black undershorts on as walked out, shutting off the lights before he climbed into bed beside his brother.

Sam wrapped his arms around Dean, folding the smaller man up within himself, “See you on the other side,” He said sleepily, kissing his brother’s forehead.

Dean nodded, still feeling slightly sick, but somewhat comforted by his brother's arms, now that he was secure in them, “Yeah.” He smoothed his hand over Sam’s chest, tracing the scars until he fell asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Sam woke up before Dean did, slightly startled at first but he kept quiet. He laid there, taking in her features before he brushed his thumb along her jaw. What he was looking at wasn't quite what he expected, but he wasn't disappointed, not by any means.

The older Winchester blinked, normally the kind to go from sleep to awake completely, and he looked up at Sam, smiling nervously. He already _felt_ different, or... **She**... The obvious lack of certain things was... Odd.

"Well?" She asked, the rough, scratchy voice sort of similar to her old one.

"Well,” Sam replied huskily, his arms wrapping tightly around Dean's waist, "You're beautiful,” He concluded, looking her body over, drinking in the soft skin, still so very, very much like his brother.

Dean frowned at the unusual feeling of his chest pressed to Sam's. Though he knew he was changed, it didn't really feel very different there. He followed up by doing exactly that he knew he would, reaching up and grabbing her chest, "Aww, now I'm disappointed. I got no tits, are you kiddin' me?"

"No,” Sam retorted quickly, propping himself up, "You're perfect, trust me,” He smirked, then nodded to the bathroom, "You should go look, I think you'll be pleased; I know I am.”

Dean sat up nervously, standing carefully from the bed and promptly falling over. "Nice," She winced, standing again and turning to look at her brother, "This ain't easy." She held her shorts up this time as she moved into the bathroom and paused as she saw her reflection.

"It'll get better,” Sam responded as he got up and followed her into the bathroom. He put his hands on her curvy waist from behind and smiled, "Whaddya think?” He asked eagerly.

Dean's heart fluttered violently at her brother's large hands settling on her body as she stared at the pale lips, the sharp freckles, the short hair still a lot like his own. But very... _Very_ different.

"I kinda wanna fuck myself."

Sam laughed, "I can't blame you,” He admitted, pressing his larger body against hers. "There's some clothes you can probably fit into, in the other room,” He said softly, internally praising himself for buying more than one outfit.

Dean shuddered, feeling slightly intimidated by her brother's mass suddenly and she watched her own eyes widen. "Sam," She breathed, staring at his reflection in the mirror.

"Sorry,” The younger Winchester apologized, pulling away from her, "You're just uh-” He licked his lips, looking away as he walked out of the bathroom, "I'll get you some clothes,” He stammered.

Dean shuffled her thighs, "It's fine... I..." She breathed, "I think this is 'gettin' wet' feels like."

Sam stopped at the other side of the bathroom door and popped his head back in, looking at her curiously, "What did you just say?” He asked, trying to make sure he heard her right.

"I think this is what 'gettin' wet' feels like," And Dean reached down, underneath her loose undershorts, pressing her fingers passed the soft curls of pubic hair, down against-"Oh!" She nearly dropped in shock as her legs shook.

Sam rushed back into the bathroom, wrapping his arms around her waist to hold her up. He turned her around and propped her chin with his forefinger and thumb, "I told you it was **stronger** ,” He swallowed suddenly, glancing at her lips, "Just take it easy,” he said, his tone a little lower than expected.

Dean, kind of dizzy, chest heaving as she took in air, nearly wet herself the moment Sam's hands wrapped around her waist, the second she was turned though, she seriously nearly lost it.

"How did you **handle** this?" She asked, spreading her thighs slightly and arching into him, "This is _intense_."

"You remember how hard I tried getting you to,” Sam considered her question, remembering every little thing he did to get try and get Dean to give in to him.

"Well, that's why I was acting like that,” He admitted, staring down at her. He lifted her up easily, one hand on her waist, the other under her left ass cheek, and sat her on the bathroom counter as he nestled his waist in between her legs, not breaking eye contact.

Dean's eyes widened even more, heat pooling between her legs as she stared back.

She reached up, shaking fingers touching Sam's chest as she moaned aloud, "Oh, goddamn," She hissed, knees trembling against his sides. "You... You're so **huge**. I mean, you were big before, but _this_..."

Sam smiled, his hands moving back to rest firmly on her hips again, "Can I kiss you?” He asked softly, leaning his body in a little more.

" _Please_ ," Dean breathed, her hands moving up to touch the strong cords of muscle in his neck, "Sammy."

Sam leaned his head down a little further, even with her propped up on the counter, he was **still** too tall. He paused as he could feel the tickle of the feather light sensation of their lips touching, then wrapped his long arms firmly around her back, pulling her body closer to his before he let his lips crash fervently into hers.

Dean kissed back at once, neck arching back to accommodate the height difference, heart thrumming wildly in her chest as she felt nearly smothered in him, like he was everywhere around her, stealing the air from her lungs.

She reached up, tangling her hands in his hair like she normally would, body pressing against him as she felt unusual little tingles running through her, down to the heat between her legs.

Sam moaned softly into her mouth. Dean always felt good to him but, _damn_ , this time **she** was so... _soft_ , he was finding it difficult to hold himself together. With his arms already wrapped around her, he picked her up again and started carrying her into the other room, letting his hands slide down to her ass to hold her up better.

She wrapped her legs tighter around his waist, heart nearly skipping a beat or two the moment she was lifted and she moaned into his mouth; as if responding to his own. She'd... Never felt anything like this before. It was **intense**. _So completely intense_. How did women feel like this **all** of the time? It was nearly overwhelming.

Sam laid her down on the bed, his body towering over her's, "Tell me if I'm going too fast,” He requested lowly as he slid his hand down the outside of her smooth thigh.

"Too fast?" Dean moaned as her body writhed, "Fuck, Sam, I feel like I'm 'bout to explode."

Sam traced his fingers along the skin that was exposed on her stomach, slowly sliding his hand down the front of the loose undershorts she had on, "Well, don't go doing that,” He pried his glance from where is hand was, up to her face as he smirked.

Dean gasped, eyes widening as her legs bent out of reflex, "Please," She said nervously.

Sam slid his fingers down the crease of her wet folds, intentionally brushing her clit as he did so. He could feel himself getting harder just from touching her and watching the way she squirmed, but he wouldn't take it any further until she asked for it.

"Sam," Dean breathed as she instinctively arched her hips, eyes watering, "Oh, goddammit, Sam," She looked at him, "Please, more, _Sammy_."

"I have a better idea,” The younger Winchester paused as he pulled his hand from her shorts. He rolled off the bed and dropped his pants in one swift motion, he crawled back onto the mattress, as he propped himself on his knees between her legs. He grabbed at the top of Dean's shorts and paused, "You trust me?” He asked, smiling coyly.

"Of course I do," She said at once, looking up at him and she swallowed, wide eyes staring at his length.

Sam pulled her shorts down and took a little moment to appreciate her body. Both of them bare with the exception of Dean's shirt, Sam nuzzled his hips closer to hers as he grabbed the base of his dick, he guided himself between her folds as he began rubbing the head of his dick in a circular motion around her clit.

Dean gasped, eyes widening as she sat up on her elbows, watching in shock before dropping back, "Oh god. _Fuck_."

"You are-” Sam breathed as he began applying more pressure to her clit as he worked it a little faster, "-so wet,” he hissed, undeniably physically enjoying this as much as she was. Sam took his free hand and slid it up underneath the front of her shirt, grasping her soft, yet perky, breast.

Dean's mind whirled at the sensations, she didn't know what to do with herself, she just arched and writhed. More than anything, she just wanted Sam's cock inside of her. The hand on her breast was warm, and she found her own, smaller fingers covering his, making him squeeze harder as she gasped.

Sam knew if he didn't stop rubbing on her he'd probably come, so he stopped and pulled away, positioning himself on his stomach. He grabbed her hips and pulled her body closer to his face as he kissed the underneath of her thighs, leading his way to her heat. He slid his tongue into her, bringing it up to her clit, teasing and nipping as he placed the tip of his middle finger at her opening, pressing gently.

Dean's legs shook violently, an almost painful tinging feeling that was entirely new to her began surging through her body. Her hands moved to Sam's hair, grasping as she pulled and pushed, unable to make her mind up on whether she wanted him to continue or not. It felt amazing, but it was so intense that she almost couldn't breathe.

Sam slid his finger in and arched it upwards before he pulled it back out, noticing the slight tinge of pink on his finger. He continued teasing her clit with his tongue, pressing more into it, sucking it into his mouth, all the while adjusting himself to her movements.

"Sammy, please," Dean breathed, arching her back and nearly growling with need, the front soles of her feet running along the sides of his torso as she shifted, "Please, fuck."

The younger Winchester stopped momentarily to look up at her, smirking, "You're gonna have to tell me what you want,” He said, waiting before he'd continue doing anything else to her.

"I want you in me, goddammit," Dean growled, looking up at him, her cheeks flushed, freckles nearly glowing as she grabbed the back of his neck in her fist to pull him up over her, "You fucking bastard, just **fuck me** already."

"Aggressive,” Sam leaned in to whisper in her ear, " _I like it_ ,” he traced his tongue along her jaw as he slid himself into her, slowly. He was almost positive he was going to rip her in half, she was tight, almost **too** tight. He moaned as he sank in deeper, but it sounded more like a yell than anything else.

Dean's legs widened to receive him, feeling the large waist settle into place as he pressed into her, filling her in ways she'd never imagined possible. It felt like every muscle in her body was responding to him, needing him to take her over.

Her hands moved to his large biceps, squeezing them as she felt the tear slip down her cheek and she let out a shaky breath, "Son of a bitch."

Sam quickly wiped the tear from of her face, "Tell me if I'm hurting you,” He managed out as he pulled his hips back to thrust into her.

The older Winchester arched and gasped, nearly screaming as the intense feeling burned inside of her. Her thighs tightened and she shook her head, "I'm fine, really."

Sam slammed back into her, a little harder than intended, making them both gasp. He brought a hand down to clasp her thigh, trying to still her shaking as he kissed her chest, placing little love bites along the bottom of her breasts.

"S'mazing,” He muttered breathlessly, making it not even sound like a real word.

"Yeah't'is," Dean responded, barely able to feel her lips, "I can't stop-stop'mm legs'fff-rom shakin'," She stammered, hands moving to his shoulders, running over the solid muscles of her brother, "Goddammit."

"Maybe if... You-” Sam paused to thrust into her fast a few more times, "If you actually use them, they'll stop,” he murmured as he wrapped one arm around her back as he threw himself on the bed, whipping her up around, settling her onto his lap.

Dean gasped in shock, her thighs spreading even wider now and she looked down at Sam, "I... I don't know if I can..." She shifted and choked, nearly doubling over at the sensations and pressing her palms flat on his chest as she lifted her thighs, muscles inside tightening around the length before she slid back down, "Holy _shit_."

Sam dropped his hands to her hips to help her, "I know you can,” he moaned as she pressed down onto him. He slid a hand over and brushed her clit with his thumb, "Take your shirt off,” he growled.

Dean shuddered at the growl and did so, shaking fingers removing what was normally a fairly tight shirt on her, and now could be considered a partial night gown or some shit. She looked down at her chest, observing it for the first time as she reached up and touched the squishy, sensitive flesh.

" _Fuck_ ,” The younger Winchester moaned as he watched Dean play with her chest. He thrust harder up into her, pulling greedily at her hips, yanking her down.

Dean gasped in surprise and dropped her hands back down to her brother's chest, "Sorry," She said, smiling nervously, "Can't help it, they're so soft." She moved more then, hips rolling onto the length inside of her as she moaned and bounced, waist working her brother as Dean stared down at Sam.

Sam brought his hands up to replace where her's were previously, squeezing and running his thumbs over her nipples, "I really can't blame you,” he moaned, thrusting faster than he was used to.

"I'm gonna have to do this again soon," Dean said, panting with each thrust, "I kinda wanna masturbate or somethin', or use the shower head like you hear women do sometimes."

She grinned, "Haven't had nearly enough time to play with this."

"Well,” Sam swallowed at the thought, still thrusting into her, "I'm a-almost done and, I'd _love_ to watch,” He smirked as he used every muscle he had, the room echoing with a loud clapping noise of their skin.

"What's the trigger?" Dean breathed, barely able to think, "What changes me back? You comin' or me?"

"Either way-” Sam paused, shrugging as he kept fucking her, "-won't happen 'til you fall asleep,” He grunted, on the verge of coming.

"No, but you went all bat-shit crazy, remember?" Dean closed her eyes, hands pressed to Sam's chest as she arched.

"I had a **reason** to go crazy... Remember?” Sam thought aloud, stopping all together.

"Do you?” he asked, watching her.

Dean stilled as well, chest heaving, and she nodded, swallowing and breathing hard after, "Of course I do. Sam. Four months without you? Blaimin' it on myself. 'Course I have a reason or three," She admitted guiltily.

"Well, the curse will use whatever pent up anger you have and use it against you so,” Sam stilled, rolling her over to pull out, "Maybe we should find something to tie you down?” He questioned.

Dean frowned, "You shoved me off you before, an' I was unawares. This time, you think I can push **you** off? You're huge. An'... An' a lot stronger than the other way around. An' you'll expect it. Why stop?"

Sam shrugged, "Just trying to be cautious, Dean,” He admitted, "If you do what I tried to do, I won't be able to handle it as well as you did.”

"You're probably right," Dean sighed finally, calming down slightly, "I uh... I have a pair of handcuffs in my duffel over there," She motioned to the bag in the corner.

"You little freak,” Sam chuckled, smirking as he sauntered over to the bag. He grabbed the cuffs and came back to the bed, kissing both of her wrists before he tightened them into place.

Dean smirked, "Would it really turn you on if I told you that I used them on myself sometimes?"

"Of course,” Sam admitted, leaning in to kiss her, "Tell me about it,” he breathed as he picked her hips up, pulling her back onto him.

"Use to get myself all worked up," Dean breathed, closing her eyes, "Cuff myself an' rut against the sheets 'til I came," She smirked.

"That's,” The younger Winchester paused, thrusting into her, looking her body over, reveling in the way she looked - all tied up, "Incredibly **sexy** ,” He moaned, feeling practically on the verge of coming again, not even having been in her for more than a few minutes.

Dean leaned close to her brother, whispering into his ear as she tried to keep pace with him, "Your bed, your sheets," She said, "I would breathe in your body wash from the day before an' get so stiff an' hard that I had to stake some kinda _claim_."

"Oh _damn_ ,” Sam moaned, smiling as he thrust. He loved knowing this, knowing that he had that sort of power over Dean, turned him on massively. He could feel his dick twitch inside of her as he thrust as deep as he could get, "I'm gonna come,” he admitted.

Dean rolled her hips, clenching the unfamiliar muscles inside of her tight around his length, "Do it," She breathed, "Fill me, please. _I want it_."

For not having been a girl for long, she **really** knew how to work it just the right way. Sam squeezed her hips so tight he knew he'd leave bruises as he came into her, almost violently, his body shaking.

"Oh _god_ ,” he cried as he absentmindedly bit down on her left tit.

Dean gasped, eyes wide at the teeth and she shuddered, "Sammy," She practically sobbed, fists pulling at the cuffs as she felt his throbbing cock fill her with heat, the sensation unusual and warm as he came inside her. She sighed, waiting for the madness and irrationality to hit her - _but it didn't_.

Breathing heavily, Sam kept himself in her for a few more minutes as he laid his head on her neck, "Feel anything yet?” He asked, a little worried.

"'Sides for like... Multiple orgasms or some shit?" Dean raised a brow, "No. I got nothin'."

Sam leaned back, looking at her dumbfounded, "Really?” He paused, "Nothing?”

Dean shook her head slowly, "No." Her brows narrowed, "I just... My legs are shakin', I kinda wanchyou to hold me or somethin'... That's it though," She admitted, blushing fiercely.

"Okay,” Sam breathed, nodding quickly and grabbing the keys off the nightstand. He undid her cuffs carefully, "I'll hold you, but if you try anything...”

Dean nodded, moving at once and wrapping her thin arms around him, pulling him close as she laid her head on his chest, smiling.

"Have I told you how good you feel?” Sam questioned, breathing her in as he wrapped his arms around her small body.

"Hmm?" Dean asked and looked up at him, "What, like, inside?"

"Well, that too,” Sam agreed, chuckling as he rubbed her arm gently, "Mainly just your skin."

The older Winchester smiled and nodded, "Yeah, you were the same way, all soft an' smooth. I like your arms around me," She admitted, putting her free hand over his, "Everythin' just... _Feels_."  
  
"You tired?” Sam breathed against her hair, his fingers still lingering on her arms.

"Just slept, what do you think?" Dean raised her brows, meshing their bodies together as she moaned softly, "I never really thought how a woman would feel about you, do they all feel like you're so large they'll lose themselves?"

"Oh come on,” Sam laughed, touching his chest, "I'm not _that_ big,” He chuckled, kissing her head.

Dean giggled and paused at the sound, eyes widening slightly before she glared up at her brother, "That didn't happen."

Sam shook his head playfully, "What didn't?" He leaned in, kissing Dean, "So, if you're not sleepy, what do you wanna do?”

Dean shrugged and stood, "I dunno, I probably shouldn't go out though, people might wonder why you're with a girl all of a sudden," She said, smiling slightly, "Maybe... Well... It's early, no one might be out. We could skip over to another town?"

"Sure,” Sam agreed, standing as he slid his pants on and picked up his shirt, "What are we gonna do there?”

Dean raised a brow, "I dunno, eat out," She suggested, smirking to herself at the term, "Get out of this motel for a day, that's all I really care about. Where's the clothes you said you got? Should I even wear a bra..?"

"Yes you should wear a bra,” Sam snapped protectively, eyes wide.

Dean pursed her lips in surprise, "They're just tiny little tits, no one would even notice," She mumbled as Sam pointed out the bag by the other bed She moved to it, stark naked as she bent over to look through.

"Guys **will** notice, Dean, trust me,” Sam muttered, immediately having to adjust himself as he watched her bend over, "Don't you?"

"Eh, not really. Most girls with tiny tits don't even bother, far as I've seen," The older Winchester continued on as she raised a brow, staring at the panties before pulling them up her thighs.

"Just for my peace of mind then, please?” Sam requested softly, moving up behind her as he reached around and softly laid a hand on one of her breasts, fingers teasing the hardening nipple.

Dean moaned in surprise, leaning back against her brother's solid chest, "Okay," She said weakly.

Sam leaned his head down as he whispered into her ear, " _Good girl,_ ” Smacking and grabbing her ass for a moment before he walked away.

Dean's eyes widened and she looked back at Sam before pulling the pants on, grabbing the skimpy bra and maneuvering it like she'd shown Sam before.

The younger Winchester reached out and grabbed the car keys off the table, "I should probably drive,” He suggested idly as he sat down to slide his boots on. He remembered the fact that Dean should be acting like a loon and began to worry.

"You uh,” He paused, looking up at her, "You sure you're okay?” He asked suddenly, concerned.

"I'm drivin'," Dean said, glaring at her brother as she pulled the loose Led Zepplin shirt on and ran her hand over the crotch of her pants, "This feels so _weird_."

Sam sat up straight, eyes nearly bugging out as he watched her fingers disappearing between her thighs, "You didn't answer me.”

"I feel fine, Sammy. I'm sorry man, my vagina feels weird," Dean said abruptly, eyes slightly wide, "I think I needa piss or somethin'." He shifted then, from one leg to the other.

"Then, by all means,” Sam blushed and nodded to the bathroom. Dean wasn't the least bit mindful of what he was doing with her goddamn hands, shamelessly touching herself. "I'm still drivin' by the way,” He pointed out once more.

Dean moved over to Sam first, "Nope, I'm drivin'," She said sternly, holding her hand out for the keys expectantly.

Sam stood tall, dangling the keys above her, just out of reach, "I don't think so, short stuff,” He chuckled.

Dean judged the height and smirked before she jumped up at once and snatched them from his hand, "Don't try me, I might withhold sex, isn't that the female default?"

The younger Winchester huffed and crossed his arms, "Just go pee so we can get going.”

"Uh huh," Dean turned, walking into the bathroom and doing her business before coming back out, grabbing her leather jacket and wallet before she locked up.

"You could have let me drive, you know?” Sam muttered as he climbed into the passenger's side.

"Why would I do that?" Dean asked, settling into the driver's seat and starting her up, "I wanna feel my baby purrin' under my pussy an' all, while like this. Who the fuck lets that opportunity slip? 'Sides, you can drive when we come back tonight, after everyone's asleep."

"So we're not comin' back 'til tonight?” Sam asked, face heating as he ignored what Dean had said, reaching for the radio to distract himself.

"People will see me," Dean said, eyes widening slightly.

"Alright, alright,” The younger Winchester muttered, putting his hands up in defeat.

Dean frowned and looked at Sam as she pulled out of the parking lot, "You suddenly havin' a problem with all of this?"

"No, it's fine,” Sam sighed, looking at her, " I'm just... Maybe I'm a little worried as to why you're not... You know... Freaking out.”

Dean shrugged, "I dunno... The day's not over yet. You had a whole day with your body, maybe that was it?" She pursed her lips, "I got nothin' otherwise. I'm feelin' fuckin' chipper."

"I'm glad you're good so far, honestly,” Sam admitted, resting his hand on her thigh as she drove.

"Mmm," Dean smiled at the feel of her brother's warm palm over her jeans, "I'm glad too. I don't wanna put you through that. It's... It was fuckin' terrifyin'."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End of chapter bonuses fer you guys:
> 
>   1. [Fem Dean Concepts](http://carryonmywincestsounds.tumblr.com/private/41906591225/tumblr_mhgr5kwGic1ru2qqy)
>   2. [Fem!Dean + Top!Sam gifs](http://carryonmywincestsounds.tumblr.com/private/41898612296/tumblr_mhgozvPZYE1ru2qqy)
> 



	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was actually full completed YEARS ago, I had just never gotten around to posting up the last chapter. Sorry fer that, but here you go!
> 
> -Cammerel

Dean walked back inside the motel room, tossing her jacket in the corner and kicking off her boots, "I guess we'll find out soon whether or not it's a day thing," she looked back at Sam, eyes wandering over him.

Sam shrugged as he closed the door, "I hope it doesn't hit you at **all** ,” he admitted, as he stripped down to his shirt and boxers.

Dean swallowed as she stared at him, feeling that odd surge of _excitement_ through her body, the heat between her legs. "Right," she bit her bottom lip, moving to him and grabbing him by the back of the neck as she pulled Sam down to her.

The younger Winchester's breathing became heavier as their faces lingered closely together, his heart beating loudly, " _Twice in one day_?” he asked playfully before kissing her.

Dean ran her hands down the chest and stomach of Sam's shirt before slipping her fingers underneath, " _Twice_? I've been wantin' to do this all day. This coulda been a **third**."

"I like your enthusiasm,” Sam remarked, palming her ass to pull her closer.

"Mmm," Dean breathed, pressing their bodies together as she kissed along the scars on his left peck.

"Dean,” Sam whispered, bringing a hand up to tangle in the back of her short, spiky hair as he closed his eyes. He could feel himself getting hard and with the boxers he was wearing, it wasn't exactly easy to hide, either.

Dean glanced down, eyes widening slightly. _Goddamn_ , he was huge. _How did that thing even fit in last time?_ She lifted his shirt completely, motioning for him to pull it off as she reached down, fingers tracing the muscles of his stomach.

Sam pulled his shirt up, watching her as she touched him, everything about her was _soft,_ yet sexy. Just looking at her had him so hard he was in pain - the dull ache, the _need_.

The older Winchester moved lower, following her fingers as they began to pull his boxers over his length, sliding them down the thick muscles of his thighs. She looked at him, the obvious stone hard strength under tan skin and she leaned in, running tongue and teeth along the inside of his hips.

"Fuck,” Sam moaned, his knees automatically feeling wobbly, his mouth dropping open as he watched her through heavy lids.

Dean looked up at him through her eyelashes as she touched the base of his length, running her soft fingers over the velvety skin of his cock.

"Jesus christ,” Sam breathed, letting his head roll back, "I swear you're turning me into a sex fiend,” He moaned as he tangled his hand in her hair, gripping it tight.

"You always **were** one," Dean smirked, "Jus' needed the right person to bring it outta ya." She opened her mouth, taking the thick erection between her lips and running the flat of her tongue over the dripping slit.

"You're amazing,” Sam muttered, almost inaudible, his eyes rolling back into his head.

Dean hummed around the length, mouthing it carefully, but enthusiastically. she'd only done this once before and the last time she'd choked, so she was more hesitant this time to do it right.

The way her mouth felt around him was amazing, verging on euphoria. Sam felt embarrassed to admit it, but he was close already, didn't help that he wanted Dean pretty much all day and now she was doing _this_. He tried not looking at her, knowing full well that if he actually watched her, he'd come. He was already throbbing in her mouth, it wouldn't take much to push him over the proverbial edge.

He moaned, "I uh,” Sam paused, panting slightly, "I'm _close_ ,” he admitted.

Dean looked up in slight surprise but she continued, one of her hands reaching up to palm his balls, drawing lines over the sensitive skin behind the globes as she sucked harder.

Sam kept telling himself not to look down _. Don't look down, don't look down_. He looked down, seeing the way she was taking him so perfectly into her mouth, mixed with the sensation of her handling his balls, he came undone and released into her mouth, every muscle he had clenching as he did so.

"Ah,” he groaned, keeping his hand in her hair, "S-sorry."

Dean's eyes widened once more, tasting the sudden gush of oddly sweet come and she stammered, pulling back with the mouthful as her shoulders shuddered and she swallowed, eyes blinking as they watered. She breathed, standing up and kissing him, sharing the taste of him still on her tongue.

Sam  took the tip of it into his mouth as he sucked on the squishy muscle gently. "You are,” he sighed out a heavy, heated breath, looking her up and down, " _Something else_."

Dean smirked and nodded, "Well... I've never done that before," she looked down his waistline once more, "I'll get better, I just need _practice_."

"I'm always more than eager to be your test subject,” Sam said, winking at her playfully as he brushed her hair with his fingertips.

"So," Dean glanced over her brother's naked body, the still slightly stiff cock, "You just gonna stand there, _or are you gonna put it in me_?"

"Damn,” Sam choked, "Well, when you put it that way,” he stammered as he pulled her pants down, his fingers eagerly finding his way to her shirt as he pulled it off as well. He stood back just to drink her in, her perky little tits, the way her freckles almost sparkled.

He closed the distance completely as he wrapped his hands underneath her thighs, picking her up as he walked her over to the kitchen counter and sat her down, making sure she could feel him on her, teasing her a bit.

Dean's eyes widened as Sam lifted her and moved them, as he pressed his length against her folds and she dropped her forehead to his shoulder, legs embracing his waist as her hands touched his solid chest.

"Oh goddammit, _Sammy_ ," she breathed, feeling the heat burning inside of her.

He grabbed her hips, pulling her in, close enough so that he could easily slide in. He kissed her neck, right below her ear as he guided himself in, not nearly as slow as their first time. Every muscle she had tightened around him, fighting against his body yet accepting him.

To get better leverage, he laced his forearms up underneath her thighs, lifting her from the counter and pressing her up against the nearest wall instead, slamming her into it roughly as his length went in _deep_ , deeper than she was used to.

Dean gasped and arched, feeling him fill her completely. It still stung, but just for a moment before the pleasure of it overwhelmed everything. Her body shivered at the cold wallpaper behind her back and she moaned as Sam's strong arms held her up. She wrapped her legs completely around his waist to keep purchase, resting her arms on his shoulders to help as she leaned in, kissing him heatedly.

The younger Winchester picked up a fast pace from the get go, slamming hard into her, occasionally taking longer, deeper thrusts up into her, hitting her g-spot. He was fucking her so relentlessly that he was almost surprised he hadn't put her completely _through_ the flimsy wall.

Sam felt greedy, running his hands firmly along her body, stopping to pinch and pull on her nipples before he laced a hand behind her neck. He jerked her head to the side as he bit her neck, no doubt leaving a mark, wanting to claim his territory.

"Sam!" Dean practically sobbed in shock and pleasure, her body writhing as he pounded into her each time. Her hands grabbed at his shoulders, short, bitten nails digging into the skin as her mind rolled from the pleasure. She felt intense in his control, allowing him to treat her rough and it excited her more.

The feeling of having someone else take the reigns completely and just give it to her without a fear of hurting her was something she'd longed for. And her **brother** doing it, _Sammy_ , the only person in the world she could trust to do such a thing, just the thought alone made her wet. She couldn't find the words, her throat and lips were dry with the need to have him stop holding back entirely.

For a while, Sam pounded into her strictly for his own pleasure, hard enough to make her bleed, but he couldn't stop at this point, didn't **want** to. Anywhere his hands touched, he left marks, marks that wouldn't fade for weeks. He pumped his leg muscles as hard as he could, working and pulling himself in and out of her roughly.

Part of him - and he didn't know why - wanted to hear her cry out in pain, just so he could make it up to her later. He wanted to feel her body shake around him, scream his name. He was so lost in her that he was growling with each thrust, as he moved his hand over her throat, tightening his fingers around it slightly. Almost coming undone at the sight of her struggling ever so slightly for her breath.

The older Winchester felt her cheeks flushing, Sam's strong hand around her neck as he claimed her. The sense of _belonging_ , of being **his** , filled like nothing else would. And goddamn, she'd wanted something like this for so long.

Her legs began to shake every time he pulled out, nearly losing her mind with each thrust inside of her. She gasped, choking and sobbing his name as she came, one hand reaching back above her head to grab onto the door frame to her left as she arched, closing her eyes, tears dripping down her face as her pussy clamped around him.

"Fuck, oh, fuck, oh fuck!" and she was saying it over and over again, unable to keep herself quiet anymore as she soaked his length.

She was beautiful like this, completely giving herself to him, surrendering herself completely. Sam let go of her throat to wrap both of his arms around her, squeezing her as tightly against him as he could manage, knowing he was close as well and it was coming to an end.

He couldn't even speak to tell her that he was about to come, he was so washed over in pleasure that he couldn't put two words together. He just held her close as he nestled his face down on her neck, coming into her as he stifled a moan against her skin. He couldn't even put her down afterwards, he just wanted to hold her for a few minutes longer - until he could think properly.

Dean felt the unusual heat spilling inside of her and she slumped, legs shaking so hard that they were practically vibrating and she kissed along his sweaty neck, arms wrapping around his shoulders as she smiled, "Mmm, goddamn, _baby boy_."

Sam carried her slowly to the bed, laying her down gently he kissed her stomach, trailing little kisses up to her neck, "I couldn't even control myself,” he breathed heavily, smiling.

"Mmm, I liked it," Dean hummed, her body arching into his lips, "I can't feel my feet," she said, smiling.

"You gettin' tired, still feel okay?” Sam questioned, suddenly just slightly more serious.

Dean paused and thought for a moment, shrugging, "No, I feel completely fine. A little hungry, but fine otherwise."

"You want me to make you a sandwich or something?” the younger Winchester offered eagerly, kissing her shoulder as he yawned.

"I still got pizza in the fridge," she muttered and grinned at his kisses, yawning as well, "Just grab me a slice or two of that. Keep it cold."

"Gotcha,” Sam mumbled as he rolled off the bed, his naked ass jiggling as he walked into the kitchen. He opened the fridge and grabbed three pieces of the leftovers, putting one in his mouth to carry back in. He handed her's to her as he laid down beside her, propping one arm underneath his head as he ate his piece of pizza.

Dean grinned, eating through hers as usual - like a pro. She finished quick and leaned in, kissing along his jaw, "I knew you could be intense some times, Sammy. But that was... _Goddamn_ , I'm still catchin' up."

Sam huffed playfully, "Don't know if I could do that again if I tried,” he smirked at her, "I just sort of lost it.”

"Mmm, and it was the hottest thing I ever seen," the older Winchester responded, palming her chest as she stared at him, "I get all _tingly_ when you take control."

"I'll keep that in mind,” Sam said as he started to really look her body over, realizing he'd marked her _everywhere_ , "My god, wait 'til you see yourself,” he said, eyes wide, almost ashamed of himself.

"Good, I hope I'm black 'n blue," Dean responded, grinning, "Completely worth it."

"You're some kinda messed up,” Sam smirked, shaking his head even though he loved it, "Sleepy?”

"I don't get why you call me messed up all the time," Dean admitted suddenly, frowning, "What's so wrong with me when you're the one _doin'_ me?"

"It was just a joke, I love the way you are,” Sam stammered, trying to feign a smile while watching her reaction.

Dean nodded slightly, "Yeah, but it's not a nice thing to say, even if you're playin'. I mean..." she paused for a moment and admitted: "I've always felt like that. That I was messed up, like some kinda freak. For feelin' the way I do about you. When you say it though... even if you're jokin'..."

"Okay,” Sam watching her carefully, "Baby, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you,” he whispered, trying to lean closer.

The older Winchester's eyes widened slightly at the nickname, cheeks shading lightly and she nodded, "It's okay, Sammy," she murmured, kissing him and curling up against him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her bare breasts to his chest.

* * *

Dean was the first to wake up the next morning, stretching and standing as he walked into the bathroom to pee. He blinked, barely awake, and paused, looking down before screaming bloody-fucking-murder.

Sam shot up, eyes wandering the room frantically as he rolled out of the bed and ran into the bathroom.

Dean turned, naked and bruised as she looked at Sam, "I still got tits," she said, chest heaving, eyes wide as her hands grabbed the same small ones she'd had the day before. Still completely a woman, the curse hadn't went away.

Sam's eyes were so wide he was surprised they didn't pop out of his head, "W-w- _why_?” he stammered nervously, "I came in you, I don't... I don't understand,” he said, shaking his head.

"I don't know, you fuckin' tell me!" Dean looked over herself, "And goddamn, Sammy, you **were** rough."

"You said you liked it, damn it,” Sam replied, pacing back and forth, his hands in his hair, "What are we gonna do?”

Dean paused, tilting her head, "W-w-wait a second..." she paused, thinking about it, "I skimmed over somethin' like this," she moved past Sam, picking up her Led Zepplin shirt and her panties, pulling them on and moving to the duffel-bag as she brought out the journal, flipping through it.

Sam followed behind her, watching over her shoulder as she skimmed the book, "What'd it say?” he asked, almost eager to have his _real_ Dean back.

"I ignored it because it was about the male statue," Dean started reading, "One of the women had been turned permanently, and in order to fix it, dad tried to break the statue. He did, but nothin' happened," she kept reading silently, "Says he thinks she stayed like that because she'd wanted the change in the first place..." she swallowed, "Like **I** did."

"So you're stuck like this?” Sam asked, feeling tears brim his eyes at the thought of not having his brother back.

Dean frowned, "One second, I'm readin'..." she stopped, looking at her brother before she closed the journal, "Well..."

"Don't just leave me hangin' like that,” Sam panicked, "Well **what**?”

"Dad has a few theories, but..." she looked down, "The woman that turned into a male didn't **want** to turn back. But dad figured for her to change back into a woman, she'd have to do somethin' bigger. An' it was one of three things, if not all of them. But he wasn't sure..." Dean narrowed her brows, "It's... it's only hypothetical though."

"Well, you wanna change back right?” Sam looked at her, needing more answers.

Dean frowned, "Yeah, I wanna change back. But... the theories are time consumin'."

"Like what?” he asked, moving in closer, "We gotta try something.”

"One of them makin' out with another woman," Dean said, clearing her throat, "Like... me takin' the role of a man, to show that I don't wanna be... _womanly_ , anymore."

"Which means... I'd have to change again?” Sam looked at her quizzically, "What are the other options?”

Dean sighed, "Marryin' you is one. He doesn't know how that one would work, but he assumes... honeymoon night... after consumatin'... I'd change back the next mornin'."

Sam nodded, "That ones not **too** bad,” he trailed, "And the last?” he just really wanted Dean back at this point.

"I'm not doin' it, it don't matter if I don't change with the other two," Dean said at once, narrowing her brows more, "I'm not."

"Damn it, Dean,” Sam cursed, grabbing her hand, "Just tell me, please?” he asked desperately.

"A kid," Dean said, glaring at Sam almost violently.

"No,” Sam refused, "We'll try the other two first,” he said, on the verge of tears, wondering why anything could never just be normal for them for once. He paused as if he had an idea, "What about Cas? Could he do it?”

"I told Cas to leave me alone, I can't really ask him back if he's not listenin' to me," Dean said, turning her head away, "You try it, you saw him last."

"Well he wasn't exactly happy with me last I saw him,” Sam admitted, shaking his head, "I don't know...we just need to do somethin'.”

Dean closed her eyes, "Cas... if... if you're still listenin', I uh... I could use your help. Cas?" her brows narrowed.

Sam waited impatiently, standing as he crossed his arms, praying that Castiel wasn't still bitter about what he'd done to Dean.

Dean opened her eyes, shrugging, "I got nothin'."

"Okay then,” Sam looked around the room and held out his arms, "What now?”

"I don't know," Dean pursed her lips, "I told you he wasn't listenin' in."

"What?” the older Winchester heard the gruff voice say from behind him, nearly scaring him out of his skin.

"Cas,” Sam nodded, smilingly lightly, Castiel not returning the smile. "Listen, uh,” He looked the angel over, "We have a favor to ask,” he said, gesturing between him and the female version of Dean, looking at her nervously and watching as Castiel realized that Dean was momentarily a woman.

Dean looked at the angel nervously, "Can you... we'll... I'm sort of... stuck like this...?"

"What are you asking of me?” Castiel questioned, face sullen.

"To turn me back into a male?"

"Even if I could,” the angel paused, glaring at both of them, "Why would I? You wanted me to leave you alone, correct?”

Dean looked at Sam and then back to Castiel, "I'm sorry... I... it wasn't personal. I just... I'm done with this. I..."

"Please, Cas,” Sam begged, pleading with his eyes.

"Fine,” The angel growled as he rolled his eyes. He reached out and touched two fingers to Dean's temple, rendering her unconscious. "He should be himself when he wakes,” Castiel stated before abruptly disappearing.

Sam picked her limp body up off of the floor and carried her to the bed, he pulled the sheets out and adjusted them over-top both of them. He found it hard to sleep, wondering if it'd work, but he eventually dozed off while holding Dean.

* * *

Dean's eyes snapped open, the midday sun nearly blinding him through the curtains of the window and he reached down at once, grinning when he felt the familiarity known more commonly as morning wood. He rolled over onto Sam and kissed him awake eagerly.

Sam brought his hand up before he opened his eyes and felt the scruff, kissing blindly but all too eager into him, "Oh god, it worked,” Sam practically choked, throwing his arms around Dean.

The older Winchester grinned wider at his brother's enthusiasm, "Not God, just Castiel," he said, squeezing his brother tightly.

"I know that it was you the whole time but,” Sam paused, kissing Dean all over his face, stopping to lean his forehead against his brother's, "I missed _this_ , just us, the way we're supposed to be,” he stammered.

"Me too," Dean said, "An' we can't use that thing anymore, you know that, right?"

"I don't wanna use it anymore,” Sam admitted, kissing Dean in between breaths, It was like he couldn't get enough of him.

Dean nodded, kissing back, "Me neither," he agreed, honestly, grabbing at his brother's chest. It **had** been intense. But this was... this was more. He rolled them over, pulling Sam on top of him and spreading his legs to receive his brother.

"Sounds stupid but... I missed you,” Sam admitted, kissing his way down his brother's chest, trying not to nip because the bruises were still **very** visible. Sam grabbed the underneath of Dean's thighs and pushed them up towards his chest in one swift motion as he ducked down and licked him downwards from his balls to his center, flattening his tongue and wetting his brother as much as he could before leaning back up and sliding into him.

Dean's body shook and shuddered and he stared up at his brother in surprise, "Goddamn, Sam. Forward?" he grinned, biting his bottom lip. The female body was good and everything, sure, but he **did** miss this. He'd only even had it once, and he missed it. But they both had now shared something with each other that no one else ever would, the feeling of fitting one another in every possible way.

"Told you I missed you,” Sam panted as he thrust, feeling Dean's tightness spread over his dick as he went in further, "I love you,” he moaned, leaning down to kiss him, "I love you, I love you, I love you,” he said in between kisses as he continued to writhe into him.

"Not nearly as much as I love you," Dean responded, grin spreading wider with each of his brother's admittances, "Sammy," he said as he reached up and touched the younger Winchester's jaw.

Sam looked down at him with a mixture of lust and love in his eyes, more happy than anything that it was actually **Dean** beneath him. He rocked his hips into Dean's, going easier than last night, trying to show him how much he missed him, how much he _loved_ him. Sam grabbed Dean's dick and started jacking him off as he thrust slowly into him. Repeatedly reminding himself in his head how much he missed Dean.

Dean gasped as his brother touched him, a feeling he'd **more** than missed, "Sam," he breathed in surprise and ran his hand down his own chest, touching the harder muscles and smiling slightly at it. Goddamn, this was better than anything he'd ever had in that body. Completely different, not intense, not overwhelming and out of control. It felt real. Really real between him and his brother.

Sam had not once let his grip fall from his brother's dick as he thrust a little faster, throwing his head back when he'd get as deep as he could go. Despite Dean being black and blue already, Sam reached his free hand up and clawed it down the front of his chest unintentionally as he tried getting deeper into Dean, "So much better,” he mumbled under his breath as he slammed into him.

Dean winced at the pain, staring up at Sam and he smirked, rolling them over and forcing the younger Winchester down as he took control for once, in this body, leaning down and biting his brother's left nipple as he worked his hips, body rising and falling into Sam's erratic thrusts.

"Shit,” Sam choked, not expecting Dean to take control, his mind was whirling. Sam laid his hands on Dean's hips as he tugged at them whenever he'd thrust upward. He wanted this to last forever, but he knew it wouldn't, already feeling the familiar sensation. He dropped both hands, placing one at the base of Dean's cock and began working the other along his length.

"I'm gettin' close but,” he paused, moaning, "I don't wanna come unless you come with me,” he stammered as he continued to work his brother's length.

The older Winchester reached down, taking his brother's hand. It wasn't something he thought he'd ever do, but it made him sort of smile, reminding him of when they were younger, when he explained about 'relieving yourself'. His hand slowed Sam down, almost to a crawl up the length of him and he moaned aloud, chest shuddering as he licked his lips, "Slow with me, like that."

Sam did as Dean told him, working him slower, watching as he throbbed in Sam's hand, teasing the head specifically. He was practically ready to come at a moments notice, he'd force himself not to, just so he could come with Dean, but he continued to thrust into him as Dean countered by rotating his hips down onto Sam, "Anything for you,” he murmured, immediately embarrassed, not sure where that came from.

Dean smiled, opening his eyes as he looked at Sam, "Same here, 'm close, Sammy, real close." He licked his lips again before biting the bottom one and nodding. "Sam," he breathed, his eyebrows notching together as thick globs of pearly white dripped over his brother's fist.

Sam came merely seconds after Dean, filling his brother up, arching up into him. He let his grip go and brought his hand up to his mouth and licked the come off of his fingers, smirking at Dean with each lick, savoring every drop.

Dean watched, eyes widening in pleasure and he leaned down, kissing Sam before pulling off his lap and laying down beside him. "I don't think this is gonna get old."

Sam looked at him with a wry smile, "Never,” he agreed, rolling over and actually cuddling into Dean's chest for once.

"So," Dean said as he held Sam tight in his arms, "I'm kinda of starvin', an' we slept halffa the day away, what say we shower an' eat?"

"Sounds amazin',” Sam admitted before his stomach growled.

"Mmmhmm, see?" Dean stood, ass slightly sore as he reached out and took his brother's hand to help him up.

Sam stretched before standing up with Dean, "Man, I know you have to be hurtin',” he paused, licking his lips,"But somethin' about seein' those bruises on you, knowin' I put em' there... turns me on,” he admitted, smirking.

Dean chuckled, pulling Sam close and kissing him, "They hurt, but I like 'em too. Makes me feel owned," he grinned as he moved back, pulling Sam with him towards the bathroom, "An' I like bein' owned by you."

"I just like knowing that you're mine, period,” he snickered, watching Dean turn on the water as he rubbed his empty stomach.

"Same here," Dean pulled Sam under the shower head as he grabbed the shampoo, "I might have to do you the same now, if..." he paused and looked away slightly, "I mean if you want."

Sam nodded as he leaned in to kiss him, "I'd let you do anything to me,” he muttered against his lips, ” _anything_.”

The older Winchester smiled and kissed him back as they finished washing up, turning the water off and drying themselves with towels before returning to the rest of the motel and getting dressed.


End file.
